Not a Bad Thing
by skygirl55
Summary: Independent woman Kate Beckett struggles to find the right path for both her career and personal life, but when it comes down to it, will she be able to choose the path that's right for her, or will she let her fears get in the way? Sequel to Run. Caskett AU.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This story is the sequel to my story Run. I highly recommend you read that fic before this one._

_After __**Run**__ I just knew that Kate and Castle's story wasn't over and that's where this sequel came from. I hope you enjoy it! (And yes, I did get the title from the Justin Timberlake song :) )_

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**Not a Bad Thing**

**One**

Kate Beckett slowed her walk to a shuffle as she approached the apartment door. A foot from it, she stopped her progress all together, took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly as she stared blankly at the door before her. Another day over; another day leaving her even more drained than the day before. At least she was finally home.

Pulling the key ring from her pocket she paused and thought,_ Is this really home?_ She let that thought simmer for a moment before shaking her head and shoving the key in the lock. She was most definitely too exhausted to have _that_ internal discussion.

Pushing the door open to Castle's loft, Kate tossed her purse and keys on the table by the door while simultaneously toeing off her heels. She took two steps into the apartment when she spotted him emerging from the office looking just as he always did: jeans, button-down shirt (today was a blue plaid), and a broad smile.

"I thought I heard you," he said, taking a detour on his path to the kitchen to walk over and give her a kiss on the cheek. "How was your day?"

She followed him, hoping he would provide her with an alcoholic beverage of some sort, and sighed, "Really fucking shitty. Oh-" She stopped short when she spotted Castle's orange-haired daughter seated at the kitchen counter, school textbooks beside her. Heat crept into Kate's face and she mumbled, "Sorry Alexis."

Alexis whipped her head towards the older woman causing her long hair to cascade down her back. "Don't worry, Kate," she said with a slight chuckle. "I hear much worse at school on a daily basis."

Kate gave the girl a muted smile as she passed. From her own school days, she knew this statement to be fact. Though, if she had to guess, harsh language nowadays was probably such commonplace it practically lost meaning. Still, cursing around Castle's daughter was not something she felt comfortable with doing, just like she would rarely, if ever, be heard dropping an F-bomb around her father; it just wasn't done.

By the time she rounded the corner of the counter and entered the main kitchen area, Castle had already poured her a glass of her favorite red wine. With a smile and a gracious head nod, she accepted it and took a long sip. She shut her eyes and swallowed, letting herself feel the liquid as it slid down her esophagus. With a quick exhale she opened her eyes and leaned back against the counter.

Lately it seemed one glass of wine was the bare minimum necessary to unfurl from days spent with Banner and the other lemmings at the FBI and Kate hated that. She had never been the I-need-a-drink-to-relax type nor did she want to be. Though it was more often than not just one glass, it still made her feel as though she was teetering on the edge of alcoholism. Much to his credit, Castle did his best to help, but that day had taken more of a toll than Castle's ridiculous jokes could repair.

As he pulled ingredients for dinner from the refrigerator, Castle gazed at her over his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Later," she sighed. _After I finish this glass_, she added silently. After another sip, she turned the question on him. "How was your day?"

"Oh it was great!" He beamed as he began to dice tomatoes. "I got the new cover art for _Crossroads_; it looks really good. I'll show it to you after we eat."

"Oh good. Did they make the farmhouse look less spooky?" she asked, knowing that was his number one complaint about the first cover.

"They did! Now it doesn't look like gruesome murders take place there."

"But Dad," Alexis interjected, putting down her pencil and looking up at him. "Didn't a murder take place there?"

Castle paused his dicing and reviewed the book plot in his mind. "Technically, yes, but that cover art made my book look like it was a horror story, which it is not."

Alexis shrugged. "Maybe you should write a horror story."

"No," he responded firmly, scooping a handful of tomato pieces from the cutting board and dumping them in a bowl. "I am friends with Wes Craven; I do not want to be Wes Craven."

With a chuckle, Kate shook her head and took another sip of her wine. Though it had been four months, sometimes it was still hard for her to believe that her boyfriend possessed notoriety to the point where he could reference friends who were actual celebrities. If she wanted to get technical about it, her boyfriend could have been considered a celebrity as well, but she did not like to think about that, especially not then, as it would most definitely require a second glass of wine.

"So what's on the menu tonight, Castle?" she asked.

"Oh a little of this, little of that. It'll be a wonderful surprise to your palate." As he winked, his daughter guffawed.

"Yeah, 'Surprise this chicken is about to expire.'"

Castle shot her a look, which she didn't notice as she continued to do her homework. Kate caught it, though, and it made her smile. By far one of her favorite things about him was his rapport with his daughter. They could play off one another so easily; it was a delight to watch.

As Castle continued to prep their meal, Kate took a seat at the kitchen counter beside Alexis. She had long since given up on offering help to Castle. When he was cooking, the kitchen was his domain. If he wanted assistance, he would ask, but save a request, she found it wise to keep out of his way. Instead, she sipped her wine and gazed over to see which text Alexis was working out of. Geometry—not one of Kate's favorites. If she had been forced to choose a favorite during her school days, she would have chosen math over English, but she preferred algebra to geometry. Either way it didn't matter; Alexis was the smartest sixteen-year-old Kate had ever met and never required any assistance or input on her homework.

As Castle passed by the counter on the way to the fridge, he placed a small foil wrapped square object on the counter in front of Kate and winked. Her smile broadened as she picked up the piece of chocolate and peeled back the wrapping. He knew chocolate with red wine was her weakness and he never missed an opportunity to exploit it.

While the rich flavors mingled pleasantly on her tongue, Kate reflected on their one hundred and twenty five day courtship with renewed amazement. By her own standards, her relationship with Castle could easily have been considered a whirlwind. Typically, four months into a relationship, Kate barely would have breached the spending the night at each other's place (weekends only!) phase, but now she was spending almost half her nights at the loft and recently acquired her own key.

For the prior four months, Kate's brain and heart remained locked in an epic battle. From the beginning—from their first week together on the run and solving a covered-up murder—Kate's heart knew there was something special about Castle and also from the beginning, her brain tried to fight it every step of the way.

After her inaugural dinner with the Castle clan which served as their official first date, she tried her best to approach their relationship rationally since everything leading up to that point between them had been anything but. Her brain was continuously searching for downsides and flaws—reasons to run—but her heart simply would not let them be found.

She loved the way he sent her random texts through the day to make her laugh or let her know he was thinking about her. She loved the way he seemed to make great effort to get to know her and everything she enjoyed. She loved listening to him tell stories—about his life or about something random that happened to him that day. Most of all, she loved that when he hugged her, he made her feel as though nothing would ever be wrong in the world again.

As promised, Castle's dinner concoction was a delight to her taste buds and, after the meal was cleaned up and Alexis had retreated to her bedroom to finish her homework, Kate joined Castle in the office where he showed her the cover art for _Crossroads_.

By the end of his second week back from being a fugitive, Castle had re-written the book's ending so that the main character, Timothy Chance, brought his father's killers to justice, which he decided to do in memory to Tony Ciardi, the real life inspiration for the character who had tragically been murdered before discovering the identity of his own father's killer.

Once the book was complete, the publishers at Black Pawn insisted on taking the book to print right away in hopes of capitalizing on the public notoriety the author had during the six days he lived his life on the lam. When Kate learned of this, she was appalled at the concept of anyone profiting from the deaths of two innocent people, but Castle explained it was merely the way the soulless marketing division of the publishing world worked at times.

"Very nice," Kate agreed when he showed her the cover art. "Do they have a release date?"

"Three months," he said. "Pre-orders start Monday."

"Exciting," she said with a supportive smile.

He nodded, kissed her forehead, took her hand and led her to the loveseat in the office. They sat at opposite ends and he scooped up her legs and placed them in his lap. Once he'd begun massaging one of her feet, he asked, "So what happened today?"

She sighed and rubbed the fingertips of her right hand over her forehead before looking over to him. "Just more of the same I suppose. A senator's son was caught trafficking drugs across state lines, but instead of getting charges the whole thing was just smoothed over by Banner." She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and shook her head. "I know a few pounds of pot aren't the same as a few dead bodies, but it just…"

"I know," he said, giving her foot a squeeze. He knew how the injustice ate at her and watching it over and over certainly didn't make it any easier.

She sat up and pulled her feet from his lap, hugging her knees against her chest as she looked at him. "I wanted this job, Rick; I swear I did but I just… I didn't realize it would be like this." She picked at a stray thread in the seam of her pant leg as she continued. "I suppose I had a glamorized version of it, but I'd been in law enforcement before and I just thought it'd be the same, but it's not…it's politics and handshakes with winks and 'You scratch my back I'll scratch yours' deals. There's no justice—not real justice."

Castle nodded, understanding. Night after night she'd told him similar tales to the point where he wondered how anyone ended up in federal prison at all.

"I just…I hate it. I hate my job," she concluded. As the words escaped her lips, she felt a weight lift along with them. She had thought many times about her dislike for her job, more and more over the recent weeks, but she had never said the words out loud to even herself, let alone to anyone else.

"So quit," he suggested simply.

She gave him a serious look. "I can't quit."

"Sure you can."

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

She shook her head at the preposterous notion. "Because, I'm not a quitter. I can't…fail."

Castle chuckled; she made failure sound as though it was akin to premeditated murder. He scooted closer to her on the couch and placed one of his hands on her knee. "Kate, listen to me. Do you know how many books I started writing and didn't complete? Dozens. That doesn't mean I failed—that means I thought something would work, I gave it a good try, and in the end it just didn't pan out. That's not being a quitter; that's being human."

Kate tilted her head to the side and chewed on her bottom lip. His words made sense in theory, but she wasn't sure she could apply them to her own life. "But I just don't know…"

"Kate this happens to people every day, all over the world. They take a new job, try it out, and find it's a bad fit so they quit and find a new one. It's not like you've been there two weeks. It's been nearly a year, right? And, Kate, I promise you, if you don't like it now, you won't like it in another year either."

She groaned inwardly. He was certainly right on that point—she could not foresee any scenarios where her enjoyment of her job rose steadily over any time period let alone a year. "But what would I do?"

Castle thought on this for a moment. If there was one thing he knew for certain about her, it was the fact that at her heart she was a cop and he knew she would not find happiness unless she was helping others by putting bad people behind bars. "Could you go back to the NYPD?"

She shrugged and tucked her feet underneath her. It was an idea she'd toyed with, but had not put much hope into it since she was unsure it was even possible. "Maybe, I don't know."

He smiled at her. "You never know until you ask. Is it something you'd want?"

The corners of her lips tugged upwards ever so slightly. "I loved being a cop, Castle; I did. It felt like…the thing I was meant to do."

"Well then you have to go back," he said matter-of-factly.

"It's not that easy."

"But you'll at least look into it?" he asked. After a moment, she nodded in confirmation. "Excellent. So, will you stay tonight, or do you need to go home and give your punching bag with Banner's face on it a few hearty slugs?"

Kate chuckled. "You know it's a dart board not a punching bag."

His eyes sparkled slightly as he leaned towards her. "My mistake." He pressed a sweet kiss on her lips before repeating his earlier question. "Staying?"

"Staying," she confirmed. Then, with a smile, she allowed him to lead her into the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I'm so glad you guys liked the first chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews!_

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**Two**

With a deep sigh, Kate unlocked her apartment door, stepped inside, and leaned back against it until it closed tightly. She leaned her head back against the door, shut her eyes, and simply breathed in the familiar air of home.

Like so many other nights, she arrived home feeling completely drained. Had she been a tank of gasoline, she would have hit the "E" mark hours earlier. Though, unlike a month prior, her exhaustion wasn't the emotional kind, but purely the physical. The type of exhaustion one feels after chasing a perp in a dead sprint for over half a mile through the rain while wearing heeled boots only to watch said perp get plowed over by a city cab while adding jaywalking to a long list of preexisting offensives. Fortunately, that was the kind of exhaustion she knew how to handle.

Kate walked from her front door through her kitchen, unzipping and unbuttoning items of clothing as she went. By the time she arrived in her bathroom, she remained only in her undergarments, which she shed before slipping into a nice warm bubble bath. She rolled her neck gingerly from side to side allowing the warm water to melt away the tension. She wiggled her toes and scrunched them against the smooth side of the tub as the bubbles worked their magic.

Though she had only officially been back at the NYPD for sixteen days, the prior fortnight had been one of Kate's more successful: three arrests, two with full confessions, and one returned but very scared Miniature Dachshund, who had spent the night in police custody after inadvertently eating evidence.

The day after her conversation with Castle about returning to the NYPD, Kate made a call to one of her former colleges at the NYPD twelfth precinct, Detective Kevin Ryan. Ideally, she would have called her former captain, Roy Montgomery, with whom she had an excellent rapport. Unfortunately, he had retired the month before to spend some quality time with his family—and his fishing boat. Ryan informed her that the new captain, a woman named Victoria Gates, was significantly less warm and fuzzy than Montgomery had been, but she appreciated dedication, hard work, and most importantly, a healthy case closure rate.

Knowing she possessed all three of those qualities, Kate scheduled a meeting with the captain and found she was exactly as Ryan had described her: all business. She pleaded her case, stating that the FBI was not the career she had thought it would be, and preferred to return to her prior position as a homicide detective, a job she felt much better suited for. Gates was respectful of her record and seemed almost pleased to inform her that a position was available and she could start immediately.

Having been prepared for a bit more of a debate, Kate stammered for a few moments before graciously accepting the open position. She asked immediately if she would resume her partnerships with Detectives Ryan and Esposito, when she was informed of the small caveat in the offer. The position Gates was hiring for was Esposito's; he had been transferred to the Narcotics division, in which he had spent several years prior to working homicide.

Though she was slightly disappointed, Kate still accepted the position, as getting away from Banner and the FBI remained her priority. She resisted the urge to skip as she returned to her grey-and-black federal-issue desk that afternoon and typed up a letter of resignation. She thought Banner would be glad to be rid of her, and that may have been the case, but in accepting her letter he did not make it easy for her.

Months earlier, during her disciplinary review for her involvement with Castle when he was a fugitive, her sentence had been six weeks desk duty, a refresher course in FBI protocols, and even more stringent monitoring by Banner. Because she had made him appear foolish by picking up on clues right under his nose he didn't bother to notice, Banner had even more of a chip on his shoulder regarding her, and had made her life an absolute living hell at every opportunity since, her resignation being no different.

When accepting her resignation letter, Banner insisted that she go through a full debriefing and psych evaluation by trained FBI agents, processes which took ten business days. Kate loathed every second of her final hours with the feds, but suffered through them knowing they were a means to an end; a means to a happier, more satisfying life. A life she was born to lead.

Though being back with the NYPD was exactly what she wanted, Kate was forced to admit feeling disappointed about her return. Going back to the department without Montgomery, without Esposito felt like getting up every day and putting her shirt on backwards. For the most part everything still fit and operated the same, but it was just a little bit off; a little bit not right.

Despite this, Kate was, as a general rule, much happier. At the NYPD she was respected and treated as an equal, not an underling. She had only been gone for ten months so aside from the captain and Esposito, the majority of her coworkers remained the same. They remembered her—and her arrest record—and treated her as though she'd never left. For the most part, anyway; she was still subject to a few jokes now and then, but she would have expected no less from them.

Being out on the streets, interviewing witnesses, speaking with victim's families, hunting down criminals—it all felt right. A week back on the job, she knew for certain that her time at the FBI hadn't been a waste, but a lesson. She was a cop and she could never be anything else.

After soaking in the tub until the water turned temped, Kate emerged and toweled herself dry. She wrapped her robe around herself and padded toward the kitchen in search of a snack. For dinner that evening she'd had the classic cop meal: chips and a granola bar from the vending machine. Perhaps, she decided, balancing that out with a banana would be best.

As she walked to the kitchen, she retrieved her phone from her jacket and found she had a few texts from Castle, asking how her day was. She smiled softly and set the phone down in exchange for picking up a piece of yellow fruit. She would text him back after she ate if only to say goodnight.

Just as she was tossing away the now vacant peel, Kate heard a knock at her apartment door. Curious, she tip-toed to the hall to investigate. She found her boyfriend looking moderately uncertain as he stood on her doorstep. She opened the door, but said nothing.

"You didn't answer my texts," he said simply, stepping into the apartment.

"And you…were worried?" she guessed. He gave a guilty shrug. "I'm fine, Castle; I was just taking a bath."

"And you didn't invite me?" he questioned, feigning offense. She smiled gently and fell forward into his embrace, letting him wrap his arms around her back and pull her in the rest of the way. He swayed their bodies back and forth for a few moments before dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. "Rough day?"

"Kinda. It's just…it's silly." She pulled away from him and walked over to sit on her couch. He joined her.

"What is?"

She picked at the cuticle on her left thumb and smiled towards the floor for a moment. "It's just, Ryan and Espo and I used to have this thing. If you had to chase a perp for more than three blocks at a full sprint, the others had to buy you a drink for every block over three. Today, I chased a guy for four blocks."

"And you didn't get a drink." Castle surmised.

She looked up at him and shook her head. "Ryan asked for a rain check; he was going out to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents—it's the first time he's meeting them," she explained; Castle nodded. "It's just…it's not the same, you know? Cap's retired. Espo's back in Narcotics and now he's on some undercover operation. And Ryan is deliriously ooey-gooey over his new girlfriend," she concluded with a slight laugh.

"Uh, shouldn't you be delirious over your new boyfriend? Ah—oh, maybe it's just me then," he added at the skeptical look on her face.

Guilt creeping over her, Kate smiled and reached out her hand to place on his. "Oh Castle, It's not that. I just…I'm not that type of person. I could never…make out with you in the squad room." Unlike Ryan, and his girlfriend Jenny, who evidently thought it was okay to kiss each other at his desk, and in the break room, and the elevator.

Castle bobbled his head. "That's fair." As much as he enjoyed a stolen kiss here and there, he would have never done so in her place of employment. Well, not in the open anyway.

"But," she slid closer to him, "you do know how I feel about you, right? You know how much I care about you?"

He smiled and squeezed her hand with his. "Well committing felonies together was pretty demonstrative of that, yeah."

She let out a breathy chuckle. "Yes, but I mean here and now."

His eyes twinkled a bit as he confirmed, "Yeah I know." He leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss before bumping their noses together. Pulling back, he examined her expression and exhaled slowly, "But you're still not happy."

She shook her head and pushed herself to a standing position. Pacing around the other side of her coffee table, she let her arms fall to her sides. "I feel like I'm whining and I hate that; I hate complainers but I just… I just thought I could go back to the way it was."

"Ah yes, you know the phrase – you can never go home again. But Kate, let me ask you this, is it not the same because some people are missing or is it not the same because you're not the same?"

Castle let his question hang in the air for a moment as he watched her expression. When he couldn't read her reaction, he continued. "You have a different perspective now because of everything you've seen with the FBI. You have me. It doesn't mean things are bad; it just means they're different. I mean, we're different right? And it's not bad."

"Well, not most of the time," she quipped. He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes towards her; her face broke into a grin. "Kidding!"

Sulking mostly for melodrama, he leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. "Just for that I shouldn't even tell you that I decided today while working on my outline that I'm going to base a character on you in my next book."

Kate's expression brightened. "Oh yeah?"

He nodded. "I'm still working out the details, but there will be one, yeah."

Kate returned to the couch and pressed a kiss onto his lips. "Thanks Castle. That's very…flattering." Though she knew he based a character on his previous cop companion, the deceased Detective Tony Ciardi, she had never considered the possibility of a character similar to herself being written into the books, though she couldn't say she was totally shocked by the idea. She had, however, asked if he would be incorporating any sort of fugitive scenarios in his books, but he affirmed that he would not; living as a fugitive for a week had been more than enough of a taste of that lifestyle for him and he was not keen to relive it in a realistic or fictional capacity.

"You should be flattered. You should also be inclined to give me a very naughty thank you," he said while wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yes," he said, placing his hand on her hip and drawing her closer. "You definitely should."

Seeing no point in arguing she stood as she said, "Okay." Once upright, she pulled the tie string on her robe and shrugged it from her shoulders in one quick movement leaving her standing completely nude in front of him. Castle's jaw dropped to the floor along with her gray robe. "Problem?" she offered in an innocent tone.

"Nope," he said, standing immediately. "No problem at all."

"Can I ask you something?" Castle began not quite an hour later as they lay in her bed.

Kate responded without opening her eyes. "Hmm?"

"Well, I was just thinking…this character I'm basing off you—I want her to be a cop, not FBI, and I want to make it authentic, so do you think your new captain would mind if I shadowed you for a bit?"

She cracked one eye open and looked at him. "Shadow me? Haven't you been down this road before?"

Castle propped himself up on one elbow to look down at her. "Well, yeah, but I want the female perspective this time. For all I know, it could be much better than the male perspective."

She let out a breathy laugh and shut her eyes again. "Now you're just trying to butter me up."

He traced his index finger gently across the hollow of her collar bone. "Is it working?"

"Maybe," she said with a smile.

"C'mon please? Except," he paused and grimaced for a brief moment. "One thing – you have to promise you won't frame me for murder if I shadow you."

Kate laughed loudly and her eyes popped open. When she saw his face was filled with moderate concern she couldn't help but grin wider. Changing her expression to one of serious thought she concluded, "It will be difficult, but I think I can handle that."

"Glad to hear it." He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another. "I have a few conditions, though."

"Conditions?"

"Yes, before I even ask Gates, I want you to promise me that if you shadow me you will play by my rules."

"Do these rules involve handcuffs?"

She looked at his smug grin, perturbed. "Castle."

"Sorry."

"I'm serious. This job can be dangerous and…and I don't want you to get hurt."

Touched by her comment, he rolled back against the bed and pulled her along with him so that she was now lying with half her body across his chest. "I promise that I will do my best to play by your rules."

She arched one eyebrow at him. "That sounds like a promise with a lot of loopholes."

"Does it?" he responded innocently.

"Castle."

"Okay, okay. I will follow your rules—like you're the principal and I'm the student."

Catching his dirty tone, Kate groaned and rolled back to her side of the bed. "Everything is always a joke to you…"

"I'm sorry; I'm sorry. Look." He sat up and raised his right hand to give his oath. "I promise to play by your rules so that I don't get hurt."

She nodded. "Thank you. And I promise to ask Gates about this tomorrow."

"Excellent!" he cheered, falling back against the pillow.

Kate glanced over and saw the look of glee on his face. Having a sinking suspicion about the visions going through his mind in that moment, she said, "By the way, rule number one is that you can't play with the car siren."

His expression fell immediately. "Damn it!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**

"Let me get this straight, Detective." Victoria Gates removed the pair of reading glasses balanced on the bridge of her nose, set them on the desk, and stared across at the younger woman. "You're asking me for permission to allow the writer Richard Castle into my precinct to just," she waved her hand casually, "look around and hang out? I don't think so, Detective."

"But, sir," Kate protested, using the captain's preferred formal term, "he wouldn't be just hanging out. He would be observing me on my cases. He might actually be of some assistance too."

Gates arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you saying you need help solving your cases?"

"No, sir. I just mean to say that Castle is very helpful. Earlier this year-"

"I think it's safe to say that everyone in the NYPD is quite familiar with Mr. Castle's arrest and subsequent escape," Gates said pointedly.

"He was being framed." Kate was always quick to defend her boyfriend any time the subject of his Houdini act was brought up, which was actually more frequently than she would have preferred. Then again, she couldn't fault anyone for that. Castle had been the only person to successfully escape police custody during a transfer in the prior few years.

"Yes, detective, I understand that."

When silence hung in the air for a few moments, Kate reduced her earlier request in hopes of success. "How about for just one case?"

"Detective Beckett, the NYPD is not prepared to fall subject to the every whim and fancy of your boyfriend."

Kate pursed her lips together and took a deep breath. She had hoped Gates would agree without her having to play the card up her sleeve, but it appeared that wouldn't be the case. "Mr. Castle is very good friends with the mayor. You know how much the NYPD struggles for good publicity. This would be a great opportunity to put a positive light on us and show that we're willing to collaborate with anyone if it means getting bad people off the streets."

Gate's eyes narrowed and for a solid minute she stared at Kate silently. Finally, she sat back in her seat and picked up her glasses one more. "One case, Detective; one case. And you'd better keep him on a short leash."

A smile broke across her face. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Back at her desk, Kate pulled out her phone and texted Castle, _You're in_.

_Sweet_, he responded, _just tell me when and where and I'll be there with my magnifying glass and Deerstalker hat._

Kate rolled her eyes and stuffed her phone back into her purse.

"What are you so happy about?" Ryan asked from his spot at the desk across from her.

Realizing she was probably wearing an ear-to-ear grin, Kate straightened her mouth as best she could. "Nothing, it's just Gate is going to let Castle shadow me on our next murder case."

Ryan's eyebrows raised several inches. "Is that so? And Castle wants to shadow a detective again?"

A few weeks after his case had been solved Kate and Castle met her former colleagues Ryan and Esposito for drinks. Kate had promised Esposito the full explanation for needing his assistance to pull Detective Ciardi Senior's financial records earlier that year and didn't want to leave Ryan out of the story. Naturally, the boys loved the tale of their former partner going as rogue as one cop could go and Kate knew it was not an incident they would soon let her forget.

"He made me promise not to frame him for murder," she confessed; Ryan laughed.

By early afternoon, the twelfth precinct received word of a murder: a sixteen year old girl had been strangled and left in an alley in midtown. Kate texted Castle the address as she and Ryan headed to the scene. As she pressed the send button on the text, Kate took a deep breath and silently hoped her agreement to be shadowed would not be a decision she would quickly come to regret.

"So what've we got?" Castle asked excitedly when he hopped out of a cab just on the other side of the crime scene tape. "Shooting? Decapitation? Death by samurai sword?"

She momentarily gave him an irritated expression at his excrement towards the condition of someone's dead body. Her expression fell quickly, though, as she sighed and lifted the tape high enough for him to duck under. "None of the above. Our victim is a sixteen-year-old girl."

Castle slowed his gate and swallowed hard. "Sixteen?" The same age as his daughter. When he caught sight of the young girl crumpled by a dumpster, he stopped walking all together.

Noticing he wasn't following, Kate turned back towards him. Seeing the paling expression on his face, she informed him gently, "You don't have to come any closer."

As though waking from a trance, Castle shook his head and took two steps forward. "No—no. I'm fine."

Kate nodded her head once before walking up to the body where the medical examiner, her friend Dr. Lanie Parish, was crouched and examining the body. "Lanie, you remember Richard Castle, right?" They had bumped into each other while out at dinner one night two months earlier and Kate had done the introductions.

Lanie stood, turned behind her and nodded to the well groomed six-foot-one figure. "Nice to see you again." Castle smiled in return and Lanie turned back to Kate, whispering in her ear, "Why is your boyfriend at a crime scene?"

"He's shadowing me for research," Kate informed her quietly. Then, in a normal tone, she asked, "So what've we got?"

"Sixteen-year-old Ashley Poole according to the school ID in her wallet. From the looks of things, COD is strangulation, but I'll know more when I get her back to the lab."

"TOD?" Kate asked.

"I would estimate between eight and ten last night," Lanie said.

Kate nodded. "Parents probably know she's missing then."

As they spoke, Castle walked around to the victim's feet and crouched down, examining the body. He took note of scrap marks on one of her knees and a torn bloody fingernail on her right hand. "She put up a fight," he concluded sadly.

Both women looked at him. "Yes," Lanie said. "There are defensive wounds on her hands and knees. She tried to fight off her attacker."

"Then let's find the bastard," Kate said simply. She thanked Lanie and walked off to find Ryan, who was speaking to the uniformed officers guarding the scene. He told Kate that he would speak to the man who found the body if she wanted. She agreed, stating that she wanted to be the one to interview the family.

Kate phoned the twelfth to obtain the address of the victim's family's home and then led the way to her squad car with her temporary partner in tow. "Listen, Castle," she began as they drove, "notifying a victim's family that their love one is dead is never easy. Particularly when its parents and their child is…well, this is going to be very difficult."

"I understand," he said with a nod.

"I'm serious. If you don't think you can handle it then I don't want you-"

"I'll be fine," he assured her with a steady smile, though truthfully he was internally conflicted. Rationally, he knew he could be fine, unless he allowed himself to imagine the what-if scenario with himself in the shoes of the parents and Alexis as the girl in the alleyway. That was a thought too horrifying to bear.

Arriving at the Poole family apartment, Kate immediately took notice that it was in a building that landed the family in the upper middle class at least. She rapped on their twelfth floor apartment door and waited with hands clasped, taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. This was the part of being a homicide cop she did not miss while at the FBI.

A timid looking dark hair woman opened the door only enough for her head to just show. Kate flashed her badge. "My name is Kate Beckett; I'm a detective with the NYPD. This is my associate, Mr. Castle. Are you Mrs. Poole?"

"Y-yes," the woman stammered, opening the door wider. "Are you here about Ashely? Have you found her?"

"I'm very sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Poole, but your daughter was killed last night."

The woman wailed and fell to the floor, causing Castle's chest to tighten. He found the urge to retreat, and instead turned his eyes to watch Kate, who was a pillar of strength if he'd ever seen one. Her expression did not flinch and she continued to breathe evenly as she tried her best to speak with the grieving mother.

"Are you alone here, Mrs. Poole? Is your husband at home?"

"He's-he's picking up our son—our son from school. Ashley…Ashley's gone?"

"I am very sorry, Mrs. Poole. May we come in? Perhaps you should sit down and have a glass of water." Kate grabbed the woman's hand and guided her from the floor into the apartment. They walked down a narrow hall until they emerged in a seating area. Kate led the woman to the sofa and scanned her eyes around the room until she spotted a kitchen. "Castle," she said gently and then nodded to the kitchen.

Understanding her implication, Castle scurried into the kitchen, pulled an overturned glass from the dish rack by the sink, and filled it with the refrigerator's water dispenser. Back in the seating area, he pressed the glass into Mrs. Poole's hand. She took several ginger sips.

They only had to wait seven minutes for her husband to arrive home, at which point the grieving process began again. As the parents sobbed and embraced, Castle spotted a bespectacled boy he placed around the age of ten watching from near the front door. Kate approached him and crouched down to his level. "What's your name?"

"Adam" He spoke in a voice that was nearly imperceptible. "Is my sister dead?"

"I'm sorry, Adam, but yes she is. Can you tell me the last time you saw her?"

"Yesterday after school. She went to Bryn's house, but she never came back." The boy looked up to his parents and then back to Kate. "Can I go to my room?"

"Sure," she told him with a soft smile. Then, as she returned to the parents, she wrote the name Bryn down on her notepad. "Mr. and Mrs. Poole? I'm very sorry. I know this is a difficult time for you, but I really need to ask you some questions."

The trio of them sat and Kate began to gently, but firmly pull information from the family. The last time they had seen their daughter was approximately twenty-four hours prior. She had gone to her friend Bryn Sanderson's home to work on a school project. She was supposed to return home at eight. When she didn't, they called her cell phone and there was no answer. When Bryn was unable to tell them Ashley's whereabouts, they called the police, who issued an Amber Alert for her.

"What can you tell us about Ashley? Was she having problems with anyone at school? Did she play on any sports teams? The more we know about her, the more help we'll have in finding whoever did this to her," Kate explained to the parents.

Mrs. Poole looked at her husband and then back at Kate. "Ashley was just your typical sixteen-year-old girl. If she was having problems with anyone, she didn't tell us about it. She did well in school and did her extracurricular activities. Spent time with her friends…" Mrs. Poole let her voice drift off with a shrug.

"What activities did she participate in?"

"Music," her father answered. "Ashely loved music. She played both the clarinet and the violin."

Up until that point, Castle had been silently observing, but at the answer, he felt compelled to ask, "Did Ashley play just at school or for any outside music organizations."

Kate and both the Poole's heads whipped towards him. For a moment the Pooles looked as though they just remembered he was there. "She, ah, she did play for an outside music group—the violin only. The Eastside Youth Orchestra," Mr. Poole said.

"Thank you for your time. We'll be in touch if we have any more questions," Kate informed them simply.

"Please," Mrs. Poole pleaded as they headed out. "Please find who did this to our little girl."

Kate gave the woman a nod before leading Castle out of the apartment. They both remained silent until they were in the elevator, when Castle so brilliantly concluded, "Well, that was awful."

"I did warn you," she said pointedly. "What made you ask about the music group?"

"Oh, sorry," he cringed slightly. "Was that bad?"

"No, actually it was a good question—why'd you ask it, though?"

"Ah well," he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Alexis has a good friend that plays the trumpet and this girl was in one of those club-type bands and Alexis wanted to join so I checked it out. I assume you're familiar with the phrase 'This one time at band camp…'"

Kate's eyebrows raised. "That bad, huh?"

"Let's just say these girls aren't the nerdy band geek clichés from my high school days. And there was an appalling lack of supervision for a group of coed fourteen to sixteen year olds. Fortunately for me, Alexis quickly lost interested in the trumpet and decided to continue with the violin—in a school sanctioned orchestra," he added. "But it just got me thinking—if the Eastside Youth Orchestra is as wild and crazy as the band group I saw, maybe Ashely was involved with something and her parents had no idea."

Kate smiled at him as they stepped out onto the streets of Manhattan. "Well, let's go check it out."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the sequel - thanks for all the reviews!_

* * *

**Four**

Back at the twelfth, Kate reconvened with the rest of her team and they swapped the information they gathered to that point. Ryan discovered that, unfortunately, there had been no witnesses to Ashley's death and there were no cameras in the alley that conveniently gave them a look at their killer either. Fortunately, the CSU was able to tell them that evidence indicated the alley was the location of Ashley's death; her body had not been dumped there.

Kate tasked Ryan to go to Ashley's school, obtain her records from there, and interview any friends she may have had including Bryn, the friend she'd allegedly been with just hours before her death. Meanwhile, she and Castle would investigate the orchestra Ashley was part of and see if they could do any interviews with associated people.

Before Kate could begin this task, Gates emerged from her office seeking an update. At that point, Kate was forced to make introductions between Gates and Castle, an event which was icy at best. Castle was being his charming self, but Gates was having none of him. When she walked away and Castle looked slightly wounded, Kate was forced to explain the arm-twisting she'd done to secure his shadowing.

"That's okay," Castle insisted. "I'll win her over."

After doing as much research as she could through Google, Kate and Castle headed towards the offices of the Eastside Youth Orchestra. There, they found the orchestra director was not available that evening, but they were able to speak with the assistant director, a college junior, who volunteered his spare time as it coincided with his major: music education.

The young man was kind, polite, and seemed genuinely distraught to learn the news of Ashley's passing. He stated as her parents had that Ashely just seemed like a normal sixteen-year-old girl to him. Their visit was not a total waste as he was able to direct them to her closest friend in the program: another sixteen-year-old violinist by the name of Cat Lindeman.

With Cat's information in hand, they went to her parents' home and were once again forced to break the news of Ashley's death. For the most part, Cat did well answering questions about Ashley and their friendship. As it turned out, while they were very buddy-buddy during their time at the EYO, they rarely saw each other outside club sanctioned events.

As they had not had a chance to speak with him, Kate asked Cat about the orchestra director, a man named Bryan Timmons. The moment his name was mentioned, Kate saw Cat's eyes cloud over, and her answers were immediately reduced to those of one or two syllables at a time. It was as though the lid on a clamshell had been shut tightly—and locked.

"Did you see? Did you see what happened?" Castle asked excitedly as they left the Lindeman home. Despite question after reworded question, Cat would not open up again after the subject of Timmons had been broached, so Kate decided to end the interview and asked Cat to contact her if she thought of anything else useful.

"Yes, I saw," Kate said, glancing over at him as they drove.

"The second you mentioned Timmons—bam," he snapped his fingers. "She changed. We've got to talk to that guy!"

"And we will. First thing tomorrow we'll-" Kate was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. After a brief conversation she hung up the phone and quickly merged into the left lane and made a series of left turns, completely reversing their course.

"What's going on?" Castle asked.

"The medical examiner has something we need to see right away," she explained simply.

"Ashely Poole was pregnant," Lanie informed the duo when they arrived at the medical examiner's office.

"NO!" Castle gasped.

"Are you sure?" Kate asked.

Lanie nodded. "Yep. She was approximately twelve weeks along."

"So she knew about it?" Kate asked.

"Probably," Lanie concluded.

Castle made a fist and shook it in the air. "The father is the killer—bastard!"

"We don't know that," Kate reminded him. Then she turned to Lanie. "Can we get DNA evidence to match with a potential father?"

"Already send to the lab," Lanie informed her with a smile. "I was also able to pull DNA from underneath her fingernails, so we may also be able to identify her attacker."

"The music director killed her," Castle deduced wisely as they left the medical examiner's office.

Kate gave him a sideways glance. "I thought you said it was the baby's father?"

"Changed my mind—it's the music director."

She shook her head. "You can't possibly know that."

"But it makes sense." He began to tick off reasons on his fingers. "Look at how Cat clammed up when we started talking about him. Like she was scared of him. We know Ashley was the first chair violinist and she was very good. Maybe she told the director she was pregnant or he found out and he was so mad at her he killed her."

"Again, there is no evidence to that."

"But it would make a good story."

Kate laughed inwardly at his simple conclusion; if only it were that easy.

First thing the next day Kate located Bryan Timmons, director of the Eastside Youth Orchestra, at the music store he owned with a partner. She and Castle made the trip together, not wanting to waste any more time. Kate began by informing the man that Ashley Poole had been murdered, and he said that he already knew, because the assistant director had called and told him the news the night before.

Within ten second of speaking with him, Kate did not have a positive impression of the man. She could not pinpoint exactly why, but he was ticking every mark on her creepy meter. He was extremely soft spoken, as though waking from a dream state, and appeared very even tempered, but there was something about his intense stare that disturbed her. What really set off her senses was when he began speaking about Ashley.

"She was a very special girl. A delicate flower. Watching her play the violin was like a religious experience."

"She was that good?" Kate offered merely to keep the man talking.

He intensified his gaze at her so much so that she had to avert her eyes. "Ashley was exquisite. She could have been the best. She could have gone on to Julliard. This is just such a tragedy."

"Well, again, I am sorry for your loss Mr. Timmons. Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt Ashley? Anyone she fought with recently?"

Timmons blinked at her. "No, not at all. Ashley was a joy, a gift. No one would have ever wanted to hurt such an innocent creature."

Resisting the urge to shiver, Kate thanked the man for his time and then led Castle out onto the sidewalk. Once safely in her vehicle, he concluded, "Well, he definitely did it."

Kate grimaced. "It wasn't just me then? He seemed really creepy?"

Castle laughed. "There must be a picture of his face in the dictionary next to the word creepy. Yowza. It sounded like he wanted to lock Ashley in a glass case in his basement. He's definitely the guy."

"Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy—we need evidence, remember?"

"We'll have DNA," Castle pointed out.

"Which will take a few days," Kate countered.

Castle's jaw dropped slightly. "Days?"

Kate nodded. "Sorry, Castle. This isn't the movies; things take time here in reality."

Castle nodded and remained silent for a moment then he gazed over at her as she drove. "I love this." When she gave him a questioning glance, he continued. "Not this case, obviously, but us working together—I love it."

She smiled softly. "I do too."

"I'm serious, though. I _love_ this. Watching you—you're incredible."

Kate immediately felt heat begin to creep into her cheeks. "Castle…"

"You are! Interviewing suspects, consoling victim's families—you do it all!"

"So I take it this is worthwhile research for your book?"

"It's excellent research," he informed her. "Just you wait, Kate Beckett; just you wait."

Back at the precinct building, Kate and Castle reconvened with Detective Ryan to see what he had uncovered when speaking with the victim's classmates, teachers, and friends. Unfortunately, it wasn't much, but he had discovered something crucial.

The night of her death, Ashley told her parents she was going to her friend Bryn's house, but after several rounds of discussion with Bryn, the young girl confessed that was not the case at all. Earlier that day, Ashley had asked Bryn to cover for her, because she had to do something and needed to get out of the house without her parent's knowing the true reason why. Bryn had agreed to cover for her friend, but ultimately became inconsolable, fearing that her covering directly resulted in Ashley's death.

"So, Ashely goes on a secret trip just hours before she dies. Is it safe for us to assume that wherever she went and whomever she saw could have been directly involved in her death?" Castle asked.

"It's certainly something we don't want to ignore," Kate said, adding their new evidence to the murder board. When Kate capped the marker and turned around, she spotted Cat Lindeman, Ashley's fellow violinist from the EYO walking into the squad room. Cat's eyes widened when she spotted the murder board with photographs of her strangled friend.

"Cat," Kate said, walking forward to guide the girl's gaze away from the gruesome photos. "Is there something you remembered? Something about Ashley?"

"There is something," Cat said softly. "You said I could come to you."

"Absolutely," Kate told the girl with a soft smile. Cat's eyes darted between Kate, Castle and then back again. Noting the younger girl's uncertainty, Kate suggested, "How about we go someplace a bit more private to talk?"

Castle stayed behind and took a seat at Kate's desk and he watched her guide the teen girl into one of the conference rooms. They sat on either side of the table, with Castle only able to view Kate's face and the back of the younger girl's head. Kate, he decided as he watched, would have made one hell of a poker player, because he had no idea what was transpiring in the room based on her expressions alone. Other than an occasional nod or her lips moving as she asked a question, the majority of her face remained frozen in a pleasant, but not otherwise telling expression.

Forty minutes later, clutching a tissue to her cheek, Cat exited the conference room and Kate walked her to the elevator. When she returned to her desk, she folded her arms and stared down at Castle. "Well, you were right."

He stood immediately. "Timmons! It's Timmons isn't it? Creepy bastard."

"Yeah…but not exactly in the way you'd expect. From the way things sound, it appears Mr. Timmons might actually be the father of Ashley's baby."

Castle's jaw dropped a few inches, and he let out a disbelieving, "NO!"

Kate bobbed her head and sat down at her desk; Castle took the chair beside. "Cat just informed me that Timmons encourages special members of the EYO to come in for "private lessons,"" Kate said using air quotes. "During which he would complement them and rub their shoulders…among other things."

Castle balled his fist as he felt his stomach flip over. "To Cat?"

"During their last one-on-one he apparently put his hand under her skirt to touch her leg, but fortunately her mother showed up to pick her up before it went any further," Kate explained.

"Sick bastard!" Castle spat. "But Cat believes he slept with Ashley?"

"She knows he did—because Ashley told her," Kate explained. Resting her forearms on the desk, she leaned in a bit closer. "Apparently, while Cat was thoroughly disturbed by her encounters with Timmons, Ashley didn't mind them so much. Cat seemed to think that Ashley was sleeping with him willingly."

"Did Cat know about the pregnancy?"

"I would imagine not, because she didn't bring it up. I didn't ask either because we want to keep that detail to ourselves for now. She did say, though, that Ashley had missed a few rehearsals recently for being sick, which she found odd because Ashely was usually dedicated enough to show up even if she had a cold."

"So…" Castle thought for a moment, formulating the story that best fit the new information. "Timmons gets Ashely pregnant, she tells him about it, he freaks out and kills her?"

"Maybe. But how'd they end up in the alley? We know that's where Ashley was killed."

"I might be able to answer that," Ryan chimed in. He placed a grainy photo on Kate's desk displaying two familiar figures sitting at a two-seater table in what appeared to be a coffee shop or bistro. "Seven thirty-seven p.m. the night of Ashely's death."

"Well that's Ashley," Castle said, pointing to the girl in the photo. "And Timmons!"

"Yep. According to the waitress at the coffee shop the two of them were having a pretty loud argument. And then the girl stormed out. And this coffee shop? Half a block from the alley."

"So they had a fight, Ashely stormed off, Timmons followed and killed her," Castle concluded.

"Which is interesting, because when we interviewed Timmons he told us he hadn't seen Ashley since their last orchestra practice," Kate said, standing up from her chair.

"You going to pick him up?" Ryan asked. Kate nodded and Castle leapt up from his chair.

"YES! My first arrest!"

"No, not an arrest; I'm just bringing him in for questioning," she told him.

"But," he protested, pointing towards the picture.

She shook her head. "Not enough for an arrest."

"But the DNA will be."

"Yes," she smiled, "but a confession is better. You ready to watch an interrogation, Castle?"

He nodded gleefully for a moment but then let his expression fall. "Oh, sorry, I guess I shouldn't be so excited since a pregnant teenager was killed…"

Forty minutes later, Kate returned with Timmons, who seemed as unfazed as he had in the music shop earlier that day. She allowed uniformed officers to take him into the interrogation room while she went to her desk to retrieve the paperwork she'd be bringing in there with her. As she gathered her things, Castle asked, "So is there an observation room I can watch from. Like behind the two-way mirror?"

Kate eyed him for a moment before saying, "Tell ya what, Castle. I'll make you a deal. I'll let you come in the room with me if you promise not to say anything and to say seated at all times."

He jumped to his feet. "DEAL! Absolutely a deal!" Kate smiled softly and nodded for him to follow.

Castle resisted the urge to skip as he followed her to the interrogation room. Taking a leaf out of her book, as they entered the room he straightened his expression into one of indifference. He took the seat beside hers, folded his hands in his lap and stared across the table at Timmons, who appeared as casual as though he was sitting on a bench in Central Park.

Kate slapped the photo of Ashley's body on the table and next to it the picture of Ashley and Timmons at the coffee shop. "You lied to us, Mr. Timmons."

"About what?" he asked in his ever-present ethereal tone.

"You saw Ashley the night of her murder."

"I did not."

"Yes you did. You were arguing with her in a coffee shop. This is your picture," Kate said, tapping her index finger on the photograph.

Timmons gazed down at it, uninterested. "That's a terrible picture; it could be anyone."

"What were you and Ashley arguing about that night?"

"Nothing, because we didn't see each other."

Kate cleared her throat and leaned back in her chair. "Mr. Timmons were you aware that Ashley was pregnant?"

Timmons tilted his head to the side and gazed at her curiously. "Was she?"

"Yes. She was. And you were the father."

Timmons chuckled. "That's impossible."

"Is it? Because you do realize, Mr. Timmons, that we can prove that. DNA evidence was taken from Ashley's body."

"But you have nothing to compare it to."

"We can get a warrant for that."

"Well then you should get one." Timmons said simply.

Kate stared across the table at him for several moments. "You know what I think Mr. Timmons? I think Ashley told you about the baby at the coffee shop last night and the two of you had a fight. She stormed out, you followed her into that alley and you killed her."

"But why would I do that?" Timmons asked. "Why would I hurt Ashley? She was a lovely girl."

Kate went round and round with Timmons for the better part of ten minutes with no avail. He side stepped her every move and his tone remained constant throughout. Finally, she decided to go with a several minute bout of silence in hopes of distracting him and making him nervous so she could go at him once more. When they were on minute three of silence, she heard from beside her, "It's because you have a small dick, isn't it?"

It took every ounce of self-control in Kate's body not to react to Castle's comment. The only thing that kept her steady was the knowledge that she was going to kill him when they got out of the interrogation room since he had violated the only rule she had given him.

Timmons blinked in Castle's direction. "Pardon me."

Castle leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. "You have a small dick. That's why you can't get with any real women. Real women laugh in your face. They take one look at you, one look at your pathetic manhood, and laugh."

Timmons said nothing, but Kate saw his upper lip twitch slightly. It was almost imperceptible, but she had seen it and took it as an opportunity. "Is that what Ashley did? Did she laugh at you?"

Timmons's gaze shifted back to Kate's, but he said nothing.

"No, she didn't laugh," Castle answered for him. "He wouldn't let her. You didn't let any of them laugh, did you? It made you feel like a man, didn't it? Taking advantage of those young girls—overpowering them. You felt like a big strong man. You didn't even know, did you? They were all laughing behind your back."

Timmons lip twitched again and Kate pounced.

"Ashley's friends told us. They told us she laughed and laughed about an older boyfriend who thought he was just the best lover, but he wasn't even close. He wasn't a real man and she knew it. She only used him to get ahead."

"Didn't you know?" Castle asked, bemused. "Didn't you know what Ashley said about you to her friends? The things we heard," Castle chuckled and looked at Kate. "I almost feel bad for you—almost."

"How many other girls are there? How many other girls laughing about you at their lunch tables? Laughing at you and-"

"Those bitches loved every second of it—every second!" Timmons spat, seething evident in his tone. "That little bitch Ashley didn't even know how good she had it. As if she could have ever had better than me! Me!" He insisted, standing from the table.

Kate stood just as quickly, narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. She towered over him as Timmons realized what he'd said and shrank back into his seat. _Got you, you bastard_.

Two minutes later, as Timmons was led away by two uniformed officers, Kate and Castle were joined by Ryan and Captain Gates in the hallway outside interrogation. "Excellent job, Detective. And ah," she cleared her throat and lowered her voice, "Mr. Castle."

When she walked away, Kate turned around to find Castle beaming. "See—I told you she liked me."

"Well I wouldn't go that far," Ryan added. Kate and Castle looked at him. "I thought she was going to go through that glass wall when Castle started talking to Timmons; she was furious."

"Yeah you know I'm not too thrilled about that myself." Kate folded her arms over her chest as she looked at him. "We did have an agreement."

Castle's jaw dropped. "But Timmons wasn't cracking! I thought I was helping. I had a hunch and went for it."

"Hell of a hunch, Castle."

"Very impressive," Ryan agreed. "Not just the hunch, but going toe-to-toe with Beckett in the interrogation. I've seemed even seasoned cops struggle with that."

Castle smiled proudly and put his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "Well I guess we're just very in sync—in more than one place."

"Gross," Ryan concluded with a grimace before walking away.

After he went Kate punched Castle's shoulder. "What's the matter with you?"

"What?!"

"That was not an appropriate work place comment!" she insisted. Castle cringed and mumbled an apology. "Also, next time your hunch might not pay off so do me a favor and keep it to yourself."

Castle's expression lightened at her comment. "Next time? You mean I might get to shadow you again?"

Kate glanced towards Gates's office door and then back at Castle and told him just above a whisper, "I'd say that's a distinct possibility."

"Excellent," he grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Five**

Though she never officially agreed to allow Castle to continue shadowing Kate, Gates said nothing to the contrary when Castle showed up at the precinct the day after Timmons arrest at nine a.m. with Kate's preferred caffeinated beverage in hand. He showed up the following day as well and was able to partake in a case more suited for the macabre side of his personality: a partial decapitating by Weed Wacker. Other than a gruesome murder scene, that particular case was not all that interesting. It only took Kate five minutes of questioning the deceased man's coworker before he confessed to accidentally killing him as they were fighting over a girlfriend.

A few days later, Castle accompanied Kate on a late night stakeout, which he positively loved. Much to Kate's amusement, he even brought along his personal pair of night vision goggles, which, unsurprisingly, he'd had little opportunity to use up until that point.

Towards the end of the second week of Castle's shadowing, her team caught the murder of a young man who appeared to be the victim of a carjacking. As they continued to investigate him, they believed he had actually been the carjack_er_ as he had a history of arrests for vehicle theft and fencing stolen goods. Kate and Ryan decided to question a former associate of the victim's—a man who they believed he was selling stolen car parts too, but had never been convicted. Castle tagged along, sitting in the back seat of their squad car chattering on about the one time his Ferrari had almost been stolen by another quasi-celebrity that Kate and Ryan had never heard of.

Kate pulled the squad car into the small gravel lot in front of Vinny's Repairs and opened the driver's side door. She did not even have her foot on the pavement before the first shot rang out. Acting on pure reflex, Kate dove to the ground, crouching behind the door for cover. She pulled her weapon from its holster and clutched it in her left hand as her right reached back inside the car to radio for backup.

"What the shit!" Castle proclaimed, ducking down behind the driver's seat. "We just got here and they're shooting at us!"

"Stay in the car, Castle—and stay down!" Kate commanded immediately.

Bullets continued to fly at the vehicle, striking the hood, windshield, and both open doors. Kate and Ryan remained crouched behind their respective doors, taking a few shots here and there, but they were only able to shoot towards the sound of gunfire; neither had sight on any actual shooters.

"Ryan, do you have eyes on any of them?" Kate called out to her partner.

"No, I can't see! I-" Ryan's voice cut off quickly followed by a yelp and the sickening thud of a body hitting pavement.

"Damn it," Kate hissed under her breath. "Ryan? Ryan! Talk to me Ryan!"

Hearing Kate call out for him, Castle rotated his body in the backseat so that he was facing Ryan's side of the vehicle. Given his large frame, this was an incredibly difficult task in the tight space, but he managed it. Concealing himself as best he could, he moved quickly from his hiding spot behind the driver seat to behind the passenger. From there, he lifted his head only as much as he needed to in order to briefly peer out the rear passenger window. He only took a one second glance, but it was enough. "Ryan's on the ground," he called out to Kate.

"Was he hit?"

"Ah…" Castle dared another peek, this time lifting his head a bit higher; high enough to see red coming through Ryan's light yellow shirt. "Yep."

"Where?"

"Dunno…maybe his right shoulder? Can't tell."

"Is he still…can you…Jesus where are they shooting from!" she proclaimed as more bullets flew towards the car. The window on the driver's side door was almost completely missing and the windshield was fully splintered with cracks.

"I have an idea," Castle said.

"What? Don't-"

"Hang on," Castle said. Slowly, he opened the rear passenger door and found, much to his advantage, Ryan's head and left shoulder were just outside the door—close enough to reach. Castle stretched out across the back seat and reached down both of his arms to grab Ryan's shirt collar with one hand and scoop under his left armpit with the other. In this position, Castle had just enough leverage to drag Ryan's body towards him. Ryan yelped, but with Castle's encouragement, he was able to safely clamber into the vehicle.

"I got him! I got him in the car!"

Castle wasn't sure if Kate heard him, but he did hear her curse and announce she was out of bullets. Castle quickly searched for Ryan's weapon, but it was out on the pavement, too far to reach. Scrambling back to the driver's side of the car, he asked Kate, "What can I do?"

Kate reached her hand inside the vehicle and hit the manual trunk release button. "I have extra rounds in the trunk. Castle," her voice was nearly breathless, "You need to be very-"

"I know, I know," he grumbled, opening the back driver's side door and slithering out onto the ground. "Don't get shot."

Once down, he duck-walked around to the back of the vehicle and raised his body just high enough to see over the edge into the trunk. He rummaged around until he found a duffle bag, which held three spare magazines. He picked those up and was about to drop to the ground again, when he spotted a NYPD emblemized bullet proof vest. It was only then that he fully comprehended that, because they had not expected a firefight, neither Kate nor Ryan wore any body armor, which meant that if he had been shot, she could get shot as well.

Castle picked up the vest and, for good measure, the shotgun at the front of the trunk, dropped to the ground, and crawled back towards the front of the vehicle as best he could with his bounty. "Here," he said, shoving the magazines and bullet proof vest towards her underneath the rear door. "Put the vest on so you don't get shot."

"Thanks Castle." She swiftly pulled the vest on over her head and reloaded her weapon. She raised her body high enough to brace her gun in the now empty window area of the door, and emptied the full magazine into the building. When she crouched back down to reload, she heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun barrel being cocked, but oddly the sound came from behind her.

A few new beads of perspiration forming on her forehead, Kate asked, "Castle, what are you doing?"

"Helping."

"Castle, you should not have a weapon," she said very firmly.

"Really? I thought you might want a little backup."

Before Kate could rebut again, bullets began flying and, even more alarmingly, the sound of a revving engine could be heard. Castle dove back into the squad car and rested the shot gun barrel on the back of the passenger seat. From that spot, he could perfectly angle the weapon to shoot through the missing passenger window and directly towards the garage bay doors, from which a restored nineteen-eighties sedan was barreling.

Castle fired both shotgun rounds into the front driver's side tire of the vehicle. Both hit their mark and the tire was destroyed, but the vehicle did not stop its progress until Kate stood and took out the driver with a double tap through the windshield. The car coasted to a stop and hit Kate's cruiser, though not hard enough to do more than rock it in place.

A moment later, half a dozen police cruisers descended upon the parking lot and the bedlam finally ceased. "Jesus Christ that took long enough!" Castle insisted, tossing the shotgun to the floor of the cruiser. Then, he immediately turned his attention on Ryan, who was looking rather peaked and still bleeding from his shoulder. "Uhh Kate? Did the cavalry bring an ambulance with them?"

"Oh god, Ryan!" Kate proclaimed, looking into the back of the cruiser.

"The bullet went through his shoulder; he should be fine. Honestly, I think hitting his head on the ground when he fell back did more damage."

Kate did a double take at her boyfriend. "H-how do you know about bullet wounds? And where the hell did you learn to shoot?"

Castle craned his neck back to look at her, grinning. "That was good right? Totally nailed it! Before I wrote the Derrick Storm books I was trained by a former Olympic shooting gold medalist. I'm actually pretty good."

"Well," Kate sighed, leaning one hand against the roof of the car. "Let's hope we never have to put your skills to the test again."

Once the scene had been cleared by the uniformed officer, it was determined that, in addition to the driver of the old Buick, there was another deceased man inside the building and one other wounded. All remaining occupants of the garage were arrested and charged with several dozen offences including fencing stolen vehicle parts and attempted murder of two police officers. Ryan was taken to the hospital for surgery, but the EMT's seemed confident he would make a full recovery. Kate returned to the precinct along with Castle, where she wrote up her report and he filled out a statement. Naturally, Gates was less than thrilled about Castle's use of an official police weapon, but accepted it given the circumstances.

Several hours later, after checking in on Ryan in the hospital (he was fine and being doted on by his girlfriend, Jenny), Kate and Castle returned to his loft, exhausted. Castle poured himself a healthy glass of scotch while Kate grabbed a beer from his fridge. They sat together on the sofa in the office and she sighed. "Well, today was interesting."

Castle "hmmed" under his breath. "You could say that again."

"Castle, listen," she reached over and put her hand on his forearm. "Thank you for everything you did today. I mean, you shouldn't have been there—this is just proof of how dangerous my job can be—but I'm glad you were."

He smiled softly at her, leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead and then relaxed back against the sofa. He swirled his glass of scotch for a moment before taking a sip and looking over at her. He stared at her silently for several moments before her brow creased and she asked him what was wrong.

"It's just," he began with a sigh. He set his scotch down on the table in front of them and turned his body to face hers. "I didn't realize until now just how dangerous your job could be. I mean, I was out with Tony and saw things then…Hell, I was in the middle of a fire fight in a bar with Tony, but with you…" He let his voice drift off and shook his head.

In a soft tone she reminded him, "I have the exact same job Tony did, Castle."

He looked at her, unwavering. "But it's different when someone you love is the one being shot at."

Kate's breath caught in her chest at the key word in his statement. She felt the skin on the back of her neck begin to prickle. Had he really meant to say that word?

"Kate," he began, picking up her hand. Oh, yes, he had meant to say that word.

"We've been through a lot together, you and I. I mean everything…all that crazy stuff when I was on the run, but today made all that seem tame. It was like…everything until this point has been pretend, but suddenly it all got real and it made me realize I don't want to miss any opportunities with you because things can change in an instant. So I need to tell you that I love you, now—before anything else is said."

He laced his fingers through hers and gazed across the room towards his desk, momentarily lost in his own memories. The smile on his face grew and he continued. "I think I fell in love with you that first week we met. In the kitchen of your father's cabin when you told me why you were helping me." He looked back towards her and saw that her eyes were glassy and she was looking at him as though she had been deaf for years and his words were the first she experienced upon regaining her hearing.

Castle reached out his free hand—the one not entwined with hers—and cupped her cheek gently. "I love you Kate."

Kate didn't speak. She wasn't sure she could have formed words in that moment even if she wanted to. Instead, she turned her head so she could press a kiss into his palm. Then, using their joined hands, she pulled him into a standing position along with her and led the way into his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Six**

Upon learning that Ryan would most likely be out for a cursory four-to-six week recovery time followed by a period of desk duty while he underwent physical therapy, Kate had to admit to being slightly disappointed. Of course she was thrilled that her friend and partner would make a full recovery, but his absence meant in the mean time she would be partnered with someone else. Someone who Gates would assign to her. Someone who she hadn't vetted and did not know anything about working with.

Much to her delight, her new partner turned out to be her old partner, Javier Esposito, who surprised her by returning to the homicide department after his undercover stint with narcotics. Apparently, that had been the plan all along, but Kate had been unaware, since the scenario was set up before her return to the NYPD.

Over the next several weeks, Kate and Esposito worked together with limited shadowing from Castle. He, of course, still thoroughly enjoyed shadowing Kate (and annoying her in the process), but, as he explained it, he was at a critical point in his writing process. Though he continued to make promises to show up at crime scenes, more often than not, Kate would return to the loft and find him still in his robe, fingers clicking away at the keyboard on his laptop.

"Yo Beckett," Esposito began one morning as he approached, coffee mug in hand.

"Yo Espo," she echoed his typical greeting, sipping her own coffee. "What's up?"

"Read an interesting article this morning. Wanna see it?"

"Sure…" she responded, knowing from his tone he was up to something. He tossed two white sheets of paper on her desk, making it evident he had printed the article from his work computer. Kate picked up the first page and began to scan it.

The article, entitled _Castle's Next Novel—Sneak Preview!_, began by saying that, though Castle's book _Crossroads_ would not come out for another month and a half, the publisher had leaked information about the series he was currently writing. According to the article, an inside source confirmed Castle's next novel would also be centralized around a NYPD cop—a _female_ NYPD cop. The author of the article was quick to point out that Richard Castle was, at present, rumored to be in a romantic relationship with a female member of NYPD, who the author assumed to be writer's latest muse.

Kate read the article through twice just to make sure she'd taken in all the information. Then, fuming, she looked up to find a smirk on Esposito's face. "Don't forget us little people when you're super famous, okay?" he said.

"I don't—this isn't—I-" she stammered in fury.

"Hey guys," Castle announced when he arrived just a moment later, blissfully unaware of the tornado he'd just walked in to. "Espo." He nodded to the male cop. "Kate did you maybe want to…what's wrong?" he questioned upon sight of her clearly enraged expression.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she snapped.

Castle's face immediately went flush as he tried to search his mind to recall what he'd possibly kept from her. "What? Tell you what!?"

Too furious to respond verbally, Kate merely shoved the printed article at his chest and gripped the edge of her desk until her knuckles were white. Castle smoothed the slightly-balled pages and skimmed them briefly. "Oh this," he nodded. "My publisher emailed me that this article had come out."

"Your next book is about a female NYPD cop and you didn't tell me?!"

"I did tell you!" he insisted. "I told you I was basing a character on you."

"Yes, _a_ character not _THE_ character!" she emphasized, her voice raising so much that it drew the attention of several other cops in the squad room.

Castle glanced down at the article and then back at her, obviously confused. "You said you didn't mind; you said you were flattered."

"I didn't mind being mentioned! I mind having my whole life put under a microscope!" Kate shoved herself to a standing position with such force that her chair skittered back into the desk behind her. "God you just-" Kate cut off her speech quickly as her knees buckled and she immediately felt the room begin to spin. She grabbed hold of her desk with one hand and found herself immediately supported on the other side by a strong guiding hand under her elbow.

"Woah, Kate are you okay?" Castle asked with genuine concern. Still gripping her elbow with one hand, he reached behind her and dragged her chair closer with the other. He watched as she sat, rested both elbows on the desk and hung her head between her upright forearms.

Kate took several deep breaths with her eyes closed. For a moment, she had been convinced she was going to pass out or vomit—or both. It seemed so odd to her, because she hadn't fainted since she was a teen and also prided herself on a fairly strong gag reflex (mostly thanks to years of gruesome crime scenes with unfathomable smells).

Castle's hand gently skimmed across her upper back. "Are you okay?"

Kate cleared her throat and looked up at him, her vision slowly un-tunneling. "Yeah I must have just stood too quickly." Then, after a beat she added in a snippy tone, "My blood pressure must be a little high right now."

"Actually," Esposito chimed in. "Don't you faint when your blood pressure is low—oh I'm just going to be over there now just ignore me." His voice drifted off to a mumble as he backed away to escape Kate's death stare.

Castle sat in the chair beside her desk and looked over at her with sincerity. "Kate, I'm sorry about the book. I mean, I really didn't think you'd-"

"We'll talk about this later," she said simply, turning back to her computer screen. "I'm really busy right now." That was not exactly the truth, but she also did not want to have this conversation with him at her desk in the middle of the precinct.

"Oh really? I was going to ask if you wanted to go to lunch. Or, if you're not feeling well, do you want me to bring you something? Soup perhaps?" he offered.

She turned to him with a genuine smile. Damn him for being so nice and making it hard for her to be angry. "Thanks, Castle, but I'm fine. Really. I'll see you later, okay?"

Later that evening when Kate arrived at Castle's loft she took a few deep, calming breaths before going inside. Maybe if she and Castle could talk things through a bit more she would feel better about the book situation. Truthfully she doubted that, but for the sake of their relationship she was more than willing to discuss it. Still, all day visions of herself as a literary character plagued her thoughts and they did nothing to comfort her or quell her nerves.

She found Castle in the kitchen finishing up dishes. He offered her something to eat, but she refused, instead requesting, "Tell me more about this book character you're basing on me."

He bobbed his head. "Nikki Heat."

Kate's nostrils flared. "Nikki Heat? She sounds like a stripper!"

"No, she's a detective!" He insisted. "She's just fiery—full of spunk! And, I'll, ah, write in a part where she gives her boyfriend death glares just like that one," he added with a bit less enthusiasm when he saw her eyebrows begin to narrow.

Kate cocked her head to the side, mildly intrigue. "Her boyfriend? She has a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

She folded her arms over her chest. "And who, pray tell, is he based on?"

"He isn't based on anyone per-say…" Castle said evasively. "He's a writer – a journalist and-"

"Us?!" she interrupted, her voice raising a few decibels. "The story is about us?"

Castle shook his head quickly, figuring eliminating similarities would be beneficial. "Well no, not specifically us. Heat and Rook-"

"Rook?"

"Jameson Rook."

"Didn't want to name him Pawn or Knight?" She muttered.

Castle twisted his mouth to the side for a moment, but then chose to ignore her dig at his lack of naming creativity. "Anyway, Heat and Rook meet because he's doing an article on the NYPD not because he's a fugitive from the law. See, it's not us." He smiled proudly for a moment but then his smile disappeared when he saw the pained look on her face.

"But I just don't understand—oh," she put both hands on her stomach and froze for a moment, her skin noticeably a few shades paler. Castle was just about to ask what was wrong when she bolted from the kitchen and skidded into the half bath by the entry way. A moment later, sounds of retching could faintly be heard.

After giving a sympathetic look towards the bathroom, Castle turned to the fridge and pulled out a can of ginger ale. He set it on the counter next to a fresh glass and leaned back against the sink to wait for her to emerge.

A few minutes later she returned looking worse than she had when she went into the bathroom. He nodded towards the ginger ale, but she refused with a scrunched nose. "You sure? Just a few sips?"

She rubbed her stomach gently. "Maybe in a few minutes."

"Have you been feeling sick all day?"

"Kind of," she confessed. "Ever since this morning when I got dizzy my stomach has just been really off."

"Did you eat something weird?"

"I don't think so. Maybe it's just a twenty-four hour thing that I caught or something. I-I should go." Kate went to reach for her purse, but Castle stopped her.

"No; stay," he requested.

She scrunched her face up. "But I'm sick." During their six month courtship, neither Kate nor Castle had been sick, so she initially felt uncomfortable staying around him in any state of illness. A head cold would have been one thing, but not knowing if or when she was would vomit again was quite another.

"I know," he said, rubbing her shoulder gingerly. "Let me take care of you. Start with the ginger ale."

She eyed the can on the counter cautiously and then turned back to him. "Are you sure?"

He smiled. "I insist."

Three days later, Castle was lying in bed when he awoke with a start. He glanced down at the bedside clock and saw it was only a few minutes after nine. Gazing in his lap he realized he'd dozed off while editing his latest chapter of the yet-to-be-titled Nikki Heat book. That would teach him to stay up until two a.m. playing video games.

He set his laptop aside and was just about to call out for Kate when he heard coughing noises coming from the bathroom followed by the sound of a toilet flushing. Castle slid off the bed and padded to the bathroom to investigate. He found her just standing up from a kneeling position on the floor and covering her mouth lightly with her hand as she walked towards the sink.

"Hey," he said softly. She shifted her eyes in his direction, but said nothing. "You're still not feeling well? It's been a few days, Kate; maybe you should go to a doctor."

"No, no," she said, reaching for her mouthwash under the sink only to remember she'd used it all up that morning. She thought momentarily about using Castle's but it was cinnamon flavored. She hated it on a good day and feared it would not end well with her current weakened gag reflex. Then she remembered the travel-sized one she thought she left in the bathroom after their weekend getaway a few weeks before.

"I'm fine," she said as she dug through one of the bathroom drawers. "I was fine yesterday, I just…"

Castle waited for her to finish her sentence, but she never did. He took a step towards her and asked, "Kate?" as she stood frozen in place. Slowly, she turned to him, a few stray objects grasped in her hand, her face notably paler. Though he was not overly adept at recognizing women's beauty or personal care items, he was aware that she was holding a few tampons. "What is it?" he asked. Her eyes locked on his and her pupils widened. "Do you feel sick again? Do you think you're feeling sick because of your period—oh." The realization hit him like a smack in the face; how hadn't he seen it before!

"You're sick because of _not_ your period," he concluded. "Oh Kate. How late are you?"

Kate dropped the tampons back in the drawer like they had suddenly morphed into slithering poisonous snakes in her hand. "I'm not." She pushed the drawer shut with her hip, leaned over, and filled her mouth with water from the sink. She swished it around, spat it out, and took another mouthful in to repeat the process.

"Kate."

She stood up, wiped her hands on a towel, and brushed past him, refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm not."

Castle followed her back into the bedroom and kept his tone even. "Kate."

She stood in the center of the bedroom as though she was waiting for something to happen that never did. "I just-"

"Kate, it's okay." Castle walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped away as though he'd prodded her with a stun gun.

"It's just been a week." She finally looked at him and he noticed an almost crazed expression staring back at him. "A week or two and that happens because sometimes my pills and I-"

"Kate." He placed a hand on each of her shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Do you want me to go get you a pregnancy test? Just to see."

"No!" She spoke quickly and turned out of his grasp. "No, I just. I should go."

His brow furrowed. "Go? Why?"

She shook he head and dropped to the floor to look for the boots she had been wearing earlier that day. "I'm sick and I shouldn't-"

"You shouldn't go if you're sick." He crouched down and grabbed her forearm, pulling her back up to a standing position. He walked her backwards until she sat down on the bed and covered her face with her hands. Pulling back the covers on her side of the bed, he encouraged her to lie down. "C'mon, just get in bed. If you don't want to talk about this now, we won't talk about it, but you shouldn't leave if you're not feeling well."

She nodded absentmindedly and lay down against the pillow, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Castle pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and tossed the sheet overtop of her. Then, he walked back to his side of the bed, grabbed his laptop and sat down. For the next hour he sat there, never looking at the screen. Instead, his eyes were trained on her as he wondered what the following days would bring.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Halfway point!_

* * *

**Seven**

The following morning on her way to work, Kate passed three drug stores before she had the nerve to go inside one of them. She walked to the aisle with the pregnancy tests and her jaw dropped slightly. Why were there so many kinds? And what on earth did they all mean? The packages could have been in hieroglyphics for all she understood.

After staring for a full minute, feeling the panic build in her gut and the perspiration on her brow, Kate snatched up a First Response Rapid Results test knowing there was no way she could wait any longer than she had to for the results. She walked to the counter and put the test down. She refused to look the clerk in the eye as she swiped her debit card and then retrieved her purchase, stuffing it into the depths of her purse.

Feeling as though she was transporting a contraband substance, Kate scurried to the Twelfth, clutching her bag close to her the whole time. She deposited her coat at her desk, made sure neither Ryan nor Esposito were paying any attention to her, and then went to the ladies' room with her bag. She locked herself in the handicapped stall, hung her purse up on the hook behind the door and breathed.

With shaky hands, Kate pulled the test from her purse and retrieved the instructions all the while mentally chastising herself. How many ways were there to pee on a stick?

For the longest sixty seconds of her life, Kate waited. She held the test in her hand, display side away from her so that she would not be tempted in any way to stare at it intently. Focusing mostly on deep breaths, Kate waited out the time before, with trembling hands; she flipped the pregnancy test over. It displayed two pink parallel lines.

For several more second she stared at it, frozen, until someone entering the restroom startled her so much that she nearly dropped the test. Instead, she wrapped it in a thick wad of toilet paper, shouldered her bag and exited the stall. She dropped the test discretely in the trash, washed her hands, and then returned to her desk. She had every intention of carrying on the day as though nothing out of the ordinary happened. That was, of course, completely impossible.

Sitting at her desk, chewing on her bottom lip, only one question spun in Kate's mind: how the hell did this happen?

She was on birth control and, since she and Castle were in a monogamous relationship, that was the only protection they regularly used, but in her nearly fifteen years on the Pill that had never been a problem before. She was absolutely diligent about taking it, except—oh. There was that one time.

She had been working the graveyard shift and snagged a case that had her and the boys running all over lower Manhattan in the wee hours of the morning. She realized she'd forgotten to pick up her latest set of pills at the pharmacy but did so as soon as she could. She had only been six hours off of her usual time—was that really all it took?

She thought back to that day and remembered oh, yes, she had Castle had made love. She remembered that night specifically because she arrived at his apartment grouchy and tired from not having slept in almost twenty-four hours. He was clearly interested in some lovin' but she continually brushed off his advances. Finally, he won her over by promising to make it worth her effort (it had been).

"Beckett? Are you alright?" Ryan asked.

She glanced up to see him standing there, one arm in a sling, the other clutching a coffee mug. The expression he wore was one of concern. Realizing hers was probably eerily blank, she plastered a smile on her face. "Yeah, I'm…I'm fine."

"Really? Because you haven't moved or blinked in like ten minutes. You were kinda freaking Espo out."

"Oh, sorry," she said with a light laugh. "I'm fine. I was just…thinking."

"Okay," he said in a tone that made it clear he wasn't convinced. "Do you want any coffee? I'm going to fill up."

"Oh ye-" She stopped short before answering. Coffee was a pregnancy no-no, right? Damn, she had a lot to learn. "No—no actually I'm fine. Thank you." Fortunately, the double pink lines had done a good enough job at waking her up that morning so she would not need the caffeine. Every other morning for the next thirty-some weeks…well, she didn't need to think about that now.

She was next interrupted by the vibration of her cell phone. She gazed down at the object and saw she had received a text from Castle. _Remember, I'm here if you need anything. Have a great day! Love you_, it read.

Kate felt the guilt creeping over her like a wave of molten lava. He was doing everything she could have asked for. He wasn't running. He wasn't freaking out. Instead, she was doing those things and he was trying to talk her off the ledge.

Pregnancy wasn't something she was prepared to process at that point in her life. It was never even something she thought about. Maybe if she was in a serious relationship she would have, but she never had been in one serious enough. Did her relationship with Castle even qualify?

They were exclusive, no doubt, and they weren't _not_ serious, but they'd never discussed a future together, and why would they have? They had barely known each other for more than six months. They weren't there yet. He said he loved her and she had feelings for him. Strong feelings. Feelings that confused her. Some days those feelings made her want to spend hours upon end with him and never leave his side. Other days, those feelings smothered her with the terror of the unfamiliar.

"Yo Beckett." Esposito pulled her from her thoughts once more. "We got a case. Male victim found downtown."

"Great!" Kate stood up a bit too quickly and her partner eyed her suspiciously. "I mean, good—let's go."

Work—a distraction. That was exactly what she needed

Nearly twelve hours later, drained from interviewing every single family living in the victim's apartment building only to learn no useful information, Kate shuffled her way into Castle's loft. She was so exhausted that she would have preferred going to her own apartment, but there was no food there, and she hadn't had dinner. Plus, she and Castle did have something rather important to talk about.

Without bothering to find him to say hello, Kate went directly to the kitchen, poured herself a very large bowl of cereal and began shoveling it in as fast as she could do. Fortunately, at least for that day, she had not felt the least bit of nausea and she did not want to waste a second of that not eating.

She had finished the cereal, rinsed the bowl in the sink, and placed it in the dish washer before she heard footsteps on the stairs. "Jesus, Kate; way to leave me hanging," Castle said as he descended, load of freshly folded clothes cradled in his arms. He set them down on the dining room table and walked over to her. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."

"I know; I'm sorry." She had seen several texts from him that afternoon but had chosen to ignore them partly because she was busy with interviews, but also partly because she knew their conversation was one not to be had a hundred and sixty characters at a time. "I caught a case."

He nodded in understanding. "So about the-"

"I'm pregnant."

He blinked. "Oh. Oh! So you took the test then? Oh…well," a grin broke across his face. "Kate that's-"

"I made a doctor's appointment for Friday at noon. I'll probably go into work for a few hours first so you can just meet me-"

"Kate. Stop." Castle grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him. He rested one hand on each of her biceps and stroked her arms lightly. Smiling down at her he noticed she was looking towards his belly button so he requested, "Please look at me."

Tentatively, she turned her gaze upwards. When he caught her eye, he smiled wider. "We're having a baby. You and I are going to have a baby and I'm so, so happy about that." Without waiting for a response from her, he leaned down and pressed their lips together. He moved his hands from her arms up to cup her jaw. When he pulled back, he saw she was wearing a half smile, so he kissed her again. That time, she kissed him back, resting her arms gently against his sides.

"From now on anything you want—anything you need you just have to ask." Castle told her, sweeping his arm in a wide arc. "Anything at all—and I mean that. Money is no object. I mean, clearly."

She let out a chuckle at his proud smirk. "Great, you can get me that solid gold baby carriage I've always wanted."

"I'm serious." He reached down and grabbed her hands. "And we can get married."

Her eyes immediately clouded over and she took a step back from him. "No."

Castle blinked. Sure he hadn't heard her correctly, he asked. "What? What do you mean no?"

"I mean no; we're not getting married just because of this baby." Knowing that from her point of view the discussion was over, she walked out of the kitchen and towards the sitting area. He followed her.

"But, Kate-"

She whipped towards him. "No, Castle. And I don't want to talk about this. I'm tired; I'm going to bed."

"Kate," he said, his tone softer, but she didn't respond. She merely turned away and walked into the bedroom, never looking back.

* * *

_A/N: Allow me to explain something for a moment. As far as cannon (the show) goes, I am NOT a fan of pregnant Beckett. I do not want her to get pregnant on the show for a variety of reasons, but suffice to say I don't want it. For the most part, even in my stories that veer slightly off cannon, I do not write about pregnant Beckett because, again, I don't want to see it. However, in the context of this AU story, I was curious as to what would happen if she did become pregnant while she and Castle where still in a bit of relationship limbo, and that's how this story came about. Also, I wrote this entire story based on the final scene – and that's the only hint you're getting. :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Eight**

"Miss…Beckett?" A nurse in pink scrubs called out across the OB-GYN waiting room. Kate stood and followed the woman back to the exam room, her male companion traveling along behind her. Once in the room, she was handed a gown and instructed to change.

Castle sat on the guest chair and waited patiently until she was changed and seated on the exam table. At that point, he stood, walked over to her, and pressed a kiss on to the top of her head. "It's going to be fine," he told her reassuringly. She had been tight lipped about her pregnancy over the prior few days. In fact, she'd spent two nights at her apartment and only communicated with him through texts and two minute phone calls, but he knew it was mostly due to her nerves which, at that moment, were all over her face.

She flicked her eyes in his direction. "Says the person not giving birth in eight months."

"Ah…touché," he conceded, but his comment did get a small smile out of her.

When her regular doctor entered the room they exchanged pleasantries before the woman in the white jacket turned to Castle. "And this must be the father."

"Richard Castle," he said, extending his hand.

The doctor blinked. "The writer?" Castle nodded. "Oh! How exciting—I just preordered you latest book!"

"Excellent, thank you," Castle nodded graciously.

The doctor turned her attention on Kate and began the physical exam. "Well, you're definitely pregnant," she confirmed a moment later with a smile. "Do you have any ideas about an approximate date of conception?"

"Seven weeks ago," Kate informed her. She then looked up at Castle who appeared deep in thought, obviously trying to remember seven weeks prior. When he did, his expression relaxed into a smile and he nodded.

Kate lay back against the exam chair, he expression tightening as the doctor continued her exam. A moment later, she felt Castle's hand slip in hers and she squeezed it tightly.

After answering questions about what they knew about their family genetic histories, Kate and Castle were given a basic overview of what to expect by the doctor. She handed out pamphlets, answered the few questions that Kate had and then congratulated them and sent them on their way.

"This is exciting, right?" Castle asked her as she redressed. "The doctor thinks the baby is nice and healthy. And the next time we'll get to hear the heartbeat!"

"Yeah," she said in a tone that made her seem as though she was agreeing to nothing more exciting than going to the grocery store.

"You're going to love that—really. It's amazing," he said, momentarily transporting himself seventeen years into the past when he'd heard Alexis's heartbeat for the first time.

"I'm sure."

"Kate?" He stood and walked over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She looked over to him with a smile, though he knew it was forced. "I'm just tired; let's go."

Forcing herself to ignore his crestfallen expression, she led the way out of the doctor's office and to his Mercedes parked a few blocks away. Once inside he asked, "Do you want me to take you back to the twelfth? Or drop you off at your apartment? Or…"

"My apartment," she confirmed. As the drove, she continued to glance over at him. Each time she did, his brow was a bit more wrinkled. She felt the guilt seeping into her bones and knew she couldn't torture him any longer. "And, actually, I'd like you to come up," she added softly. He glanced over to her and nodded, his brows beginning to unknot.

She didn't speak again until they were inside her apartment sitting side by side on her couch. She picked up his hand in hers and began with an apology. "Castle, I'm sorry. I can see I'm hurting you and that was never my intention. I would never ever want to hurt you. It's just…" She took a deep breath and held it in a moment before continuing.

"When my mom died, I made this unconscious decision never to hurt again. I didn't want to feel that—that heartbreak, and if I opened myself up to anyone I always risked it. I compartmentalized everything for my job and it just became easy to compartmentalize my whole life. I just don't open up to people, but I know that's no way to live."

She gazed at him and saw she had his full attention. Pulling her body a bit closer to him, fighting every piece of herself that wanted her to stop, she said, "I need you to know it's very hard for me to say these things, but I also know I need to say them. I love you, Rick."

It was the first time she'd uttered the words, though he had been saying them for weeks. Thus far, she'd managed to side-step them every time, usually responding with a kiss or just a smile, but she saw the hurt in his eyes every time she hadn't returned the sentiments and she didn't want to do that to him anymore, not when her reasons for keeping her feelings inside were so foolish, so selfish.

"I do love you. I have for a while," she confessed with a small smile. "You're the person I trust most in the world. And I do want to have this baby with you." She pulled his hand into her lap and pressed it against her stomach. He splayed his fingers across her lower abdomen and smiled.

Kate shook her head and lowered her gaze to her lap. "It's just everything was happening at once with Espo coming back and the Nikki Heat thing…I was just so overwhelmed and shocked I didn't know how I felt, but today, at the doctors it all became real.

"I mean, don't get me wrong—I'm a little bit terrified," she confessed with a laugh. "But I'm going to have a baby; I'm going to be a mom, and it's going to be with you and that makes me very happy."

A mixture of relief and joy flooding his body, Castle leaned in and pressed two kisses to Kate's lips. He nuzzled their foreheads together for a moment before pulling back and gazing down at her. "You know, Kate, it's not a bad thing to need someone—to want to be with someone."

"I know." She turned away, shaking her head at how silly some of her fears sounded. If someone asked her the question: would you be okay with being alone for the rest of your life? She would have responded 'No, of course not,' but by building walls around herself the way she had, she was, in effect, giving that response.

"What?" he asked upon sight of her bemused expression.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about how funny life is. If someone had told me the night we met that the crazed fugitive who tied me to a chair would, at some point in the future, be the father of my child, I probably would have lost my mind."

Castle laughed, but then said, "Hey, I resent the term 'crazed.'"

"Really? Because you were a little crazed that night. Rightfully so, but still a little crazed."

"Well, maybe," he conceded, "but it all worked out in the end, right? You're happy now."

She smiled. "Very."

His expression mirrored hers. "Me too. Happy enough to want to celebrate—if you're feeling up to it."

She nodded. "Yeah, I'd say I'm up for it—it has been a few days," she added with a wink.

Later, they lay side-by-side on her bed. Castle on his side, his hand resting atop her lower abdomen, while Kate lay on her back with her head tilted in his direction. "Let's go to the Hamptons this weekend—just the two of us. We can relax and celebrate a little more and then when we get back on Sunday we can tell Alexis and Mother—and your dad."

She considered this for a moment. "I don't want to tell people until the end of the first trimester."

"Not even them?"

"No, no," she said quickly, rolling onto her side. "Them, but no one else. I just want to wait and get used to the idea. Plus keeping it between us will be kind of nice, right?"

"Sure." He leaned down and kissed her. "But it's not like I was going to put up a billboard in Times Square or anything—oh! We should do that to announce the baby's birth when he or she comes!"

Kate blinked at him. "Please tell me you're kidding."

His brow wrinkled. "Well I guess that would be a little unnecessarily expensive…" Kate merely rolled her eyes.

In Kate's opinion, the forty-eight hours she and Castle spent in the Hamptons was nothing short of perfection. They went for a long walk on the beach, during which she was cuddled up in one of his sweatshirts. They sat on the porch, watching the waves roll in, and talked for hours about various subjects, including their unborn child. Castle breached the subject of gender preferences, to which she informed him that she didn't care either way. He said he didn't either, though if he was forced to choose he would pick a boy since he already had Alexis.

On Sunday morning, as it rained, they made love. After, Castle insisted on bringing her breakfast in bed. As they ate, they talked about the upcoming months. Kate turned down his invitation for her to move into the loft permanently, but she did not dismiss it as negatively as she had his quasi marriage proposal. Instead, she requested to put the subject of cohabitation on the back burner—at least, for a few months.

One subject Castle remained firm on was that of her job. It had been touched briefly upon by her doctor, but Castle felt the need to reiterate that her profession was a dangerous one and not well suited for a pregnant woman. Kate conceded this point, but informed him she could not simply quit her job; it was in her DNA. Besides, the fact was she couldn't take a leave of absence without giving a reason why, and she was not ready to reveal that reason yet. Instead, she made a deal with him that she would let Ryan and Esposito take more of a lead on cases and she would stick mainly to interviews and interrogations so as not to put herself or their child in any unnecessary danger.

Back at the loft, Castle could not contain his excitement to make their announcement. They'd hardly set down their overnight bags before he ushered his mother into the sitting area and yelled for Alexis to come down from her room. When the four of them had convened, Castle slipped his arm around Kate's shoulders and said, "Kate and I have something to tell you both."

Martha gasped dramatically and clutched her hands to her chest. "Oh! You're pregnant! Congratulations!" She stood and pulled Kate into a smothering, motherly hug.

Kate's only response was to laugh. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Because, my Darling, you're positively glowing!" Martha said, hugging her a bit tighter.

"Are you really pregnant?" Alexis asked. Kate nodded. After the four of them exchanged hugs, it was Alexis who asked, "When's the baby due?"

"The first week of June," Castle informed them.

"But we'd like to keep it to ourselves for a while," Kate added. "We're only telling immediate family."

"Well don't you worry, dear—the news is safe with us," Martha said. "Oh this is just so exciting!"

Castle gazed down at Kate and beamed. "We know."


	9. Chapter 9

**Nine**

"Alexis! Hey, Alexis!" Castle greeted his daughter when she arrived home from school that evening. It was the day following his and Kate's pregnancy announcement and he had not had a chance to talk to her one-on-one yet.

"Yeah Dad?"

"I was just thinkin'. You have a half day of school on Friday, right? Maybe we could hang out or something. Maybe go to the zoo? Like we used to." He offered with a smile.

The red-headed girl tilted her head to the side with a soft smile. "That's so sweet, Dad, but I already made plans with some of my friends; we're going to the movies."

His expression falling slightly, he sighed out. "O-okay. Maybe some other time then."

Alexis took two steps towards her father. "Dad? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah it's totally fine. I just…well, I wanted to make sure you were okay with, you know, Kate and I…the baby…."

Alexis smiled softly at her father's uncertain expression. She walked over, gave him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Dad, you don't have to worry about me—not at all. I can see how much you love Kate and I want you to be happy. Plus, this is actually a good thing. With me going away to college in a year, you'll need something at home to focus on so you're not worried about me all the time."

He laughed. "You think I'm ever going to stop worrying about you? Oh, Honey, no; that won't happen."

She gave a relenting nod. "Okay, well, at least this way your attention will be divided."

"Are you saying that since you'll have a little brother or sister you'll have an excuse to never come home and visit your poor father?"

Alexis laughed. "Dad, no. Of course not! Totally the opposite—I absolutely want to visit the little guy or girl. Just not you." She added a wink. Castle feigned being shot and stumbled backwards, clutching his chest. "Kidding! Always kidding!"

"Fine, fine, just promise you'll text me every once in a while so I know you're still alive?"

"Absolutely," she nodded. "I'll text you once a week—twice a week," she added when his jaw dropped. "C'mon, Dad—be fair. How often did you contact Gran when you were in college?"

"But there was no text messaging then!" He insisted.

"Yeah, only Pony Express," Alexis said with a laugh. Castle glared at her. "Kidding—again."

"Well laugh all you want, but just remember who will be paying for your tuition." He pointed out. Alexis immediately straightened her expression and imitated locking her lips and throwing away the key. Then she stood on her toes, pressed a quick kiss on his cheek, and hurried off to work on her homework.

Three days later, Kate and Castle were finally able to meet her father for dinner to make their baby announcement. Though Kate had not originally wanted to wait that long, she wanted to tell her father in person, and he taught evening classes the first three evenings of every week. As they drove to the restaurant, Kate's nerves continued to build, both for her father's reaction to her pregnancy, and because it was only the third time Castle and her father were interacting.

The first meeting between Castle and her father came just two and a half weeks after the official start of their relationship. Ordinarily, Kate would not have let a boyfriend anywhere near her father for months after the onset of their relationship, but what she had with Castle was by no means ordinary. Seeing as at one point Castle had technically been a fugitive inside her father's cabin, she felt it was only fair that they officially meet and the full, crazy tale be explained. Though she originally intended to keep the official status of their relationship a bit vague, her father saw through her easier than if she'd been made of glass and, at the end of their meal, he mentioned how grateful he was that his daughter's boyfriend was such a nice man.

Their second meeting came over Labor Day weekend. Castle decided to have a large barbeque at his estate in the Hamptons and encouraged Kate to invite her father to come along. Knowing her father was not one to be a social butterfly, Kate was hesitant to invite him, but passed along the request for his attendance nonetheless. In the end, he did attend the party, met Castle's family and a few celebrity friends, and had a nice time, albeit a slightly surreal one.

Now, for their third meeting at a mid-town restaurant, Kate was unsure of what to expect. Seeing as she had never been in a serious relationship before—at least not one serious enough to discuss the prospect of children—she had no idea what her father's feelings on the subject would be.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jim Beckett greeted his daughter with a warm hug before turning to her companion and extending his hand. "Nice to see you again, Rick."

"You too, Jim," Castle shook his hand heartily before pulling out a chair for his girlfriend.

"I read your latest book and really enjoyed it."

Castle smiled. "Thank you; I appreciate that."

"Yes, one of these days when I find the time I'm going to have to take Katie up on her offer to lend me the rest of your works." With a smile, Jim turned to his daughter. "Shall we order a bottle of wine for the table?"

"Uh, actually, Dad before we get to that, Castle and I have something to tell you." Kate looked at her companion and he smiled at her, reaching out to take her hand. She gladly gave it to him and her heart rate calmed slightly at his strong grip. Turning back to her father she said, "You're going to be a grandfather." With a laugh, she added, "Surprise!"

A slow, very gentle smile crossed Jim's face. "You're pregnant?" She bobbed her head in confirmation. "Wow. Katie, that's—wow." Jim chuckled. "I was not expecting that."

"Neither were we," Castle added softly, though he smiled at Kate as he spoke.

"So, are you getting married?" Jim asked.

"No," Kate responded immediately. "No, we're not getting married."

Jim's eyes turned towards Castle in a perfectly lawyer stare. Castle swallowed hard under the older man's unrelenting gaze. "Is that so?"

"Well," Castle began, the perspiration forming on his brow.

"No, Dad," Kate jumped in quickly to alleviate her boyfriend's obvious stress. "To be fair, Castle did sort of ask me, but I told him no."

Jim's eyes turned towards his daughter. "You told him no?"

"We're not there yet. I mean, we've only known each other a little over six months." She laughed as though the mere concept of getting married after such a brief courtship was one of the craziest ideas in the world.

"Though technically we've been together that whole time," Castle added. Kate whipped her head in his direction and gave him a look that clearly stated, "We are not having this discussion in front of my father," so Castle cleared his throat and suggested, "How about we look at the menus?"

For the next ninety minutes as they ate their conversation transferred easily back and forth between baby-related subjects and those of broader interest. Kate was pleased to see just how happy her father seemed every time the baby subject was broached. In fact, he still seemed to be in a state of delirious shock at the end of the meal.

While Castle went to get the car, Kate took a moment alone to say goodnight to her father. "I hope we didn't surprise you too much," she told him with a gentle laugh.

"You did, but in a good way. You look very happy, Katie," he said, stroking her arm.

"I am, Dad. Rick's a really great guy."

"I can see that. I can also see how much he loves you."

Kate nodded. "I love him, too."

"And I'm so sorry your mother isn't here to see this. She would have thought Rick was an absolute riot."

Though her bottom lip was on the verge of trembling, Kate couldn't help but laugh. "She really would, wouldn't she?"

Then, with a few more parting words, Jim kissed his daughter's cheek and waved as she climbed into the passenger seat of Castle's car. "Your dad seems happy, doesn't he?"

"Oh he's thrilled," Kate laughed. "I never thought of him as a grandfather, but he's going to love every second of it."

Castle reached over and squeezed her hand. "So…home?"

"Yeah, why don't you just drop me at my place tonight?"

He glanced over at her. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm exhausted. I hate to admit it this early in the game, but I think I'm already feeling the pregnancy-related tiredness," she confessed before yawning.

"Well, it's hard work creating another human—I know I couldn't do it." He smiled at her; she laughed. "Are you sure though?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to take a bath and go to bed. You said you wanted to get some editing done anyway, right?"

"Well, yes, but you know how I enjoy procrastinating…"

After kissing Castle goodbye when he dropped her off, Kate entered her apartment and walked directly to the bedroom to dump her clothes in the hamper. In the bathroom, she briefly gazed at her reflection in the mirror, turning side-on to it so she could examine her profile. She rested her hands just below her belly button and rubbed gingerly up and down. She knew it was probably just in her head, but she could have sworn the area was a bit more rounded than it had been a few days earlier. She grimaced briefly at the notion that, in the coming months, that area would only continue to grow.

Shaking that thought from her mind, she patted her belly gently. "Guess it's just you and me tonight, kid." She grabbed a clip from the corner of the sink, rolled her hair up into a bun, and secured it in place. After letting the tub fill with warm bubbly water, she sunk in and relaxed back against the porcelain surface.

Though she originally intended to enjoy and relax in her solitude, after several minutes of silence, she began to find the lack of noise unnerving. Where was the ambient sound of keys clicking on a keyboard? Where were the muffled curses and clicks of video game controllers? Some of those sounds had initially been like nails on a chalkboard to her. Had she really grown use to them that quickly?

Twenty minutes later, clad in flannel pajamas, Kate sat on her couch, chewing on her bottom lip as she flipped through a magazine. She tried to read the articles, but found her thoughts continually drawing back to Castle and his lack of presence in her apartment. Finally, after reading the same paragraph three times, she owned up to the fact that she missed him.

She missed the way he made her smile if he knew it had been a while since she'd done so. He would come up behind her and try to tickle her, or tell her one of the lamest jokes she'd ever heard, yet somehow still managed to make her laugh. She missed the way he stroked her hair or held her hand even if they were just watching television together. Mostly, she missed the way he kept her out of her head—out of the dark places her mind could take her if she let her work consume too much of her thoughts. That was the thing she appreciated most about him: in a world full of shadows, he was a constant source of light.

* * *

_A/N: FYI I will be on vacation for the next few days, which is why you get the early update. I will not update again until __**Wednesday**__. _


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Thanks for being patient for an update guys!_

* * *

**Ten**

Richard Castle anxiously pressed the elevator call button on the bottom floor of the Twelfth precinct. He didn't imagine too many people were overly excited to visit the homicide bullpen on any given day, but he was. Then again, it wasn't the murder and mayhem he was interested in; it was the five-foot-nine beauty carrying his unborn child.

Typically, Castle enjoyed book tours. He loved meeting fans, signing books for them, and, naturally, the egotistical side of him loved hearing all of their praises. Plus, an annual all-expense paid tour around the continental US was typically entertaining. Unfortunately, that was not the case with the _Crossroads_ book tour.

Sure, he still enjoyed meeting gracious fans and signing books, but his thoughts were continually drawn back to the woman he'd left behind. They called every night during his fortnight away and texted throughout the day, but it just wasn't the same. Two weeks apart from her was far too much, and he hoped he'd never need to be separated for that long again.

On the homicide floor, Castle walked into the bullpen to find that, to his disappointment, Kate's desk was vacant as were Ryan and Esposito's. He hadn't let her know he was coming; he wanted it to be a surprise, so, ultimately, it was his own fault. He sat in the chair beside her desk and pulled out his iPhone, hoping he would not have to wait long.

"Mr. Castle." Captain Gates said as she walked past him.

Castle glanced up at her, smiling. "Good afternoon, Captain."

Gates folded her arms across her chest. "You are aware this is a police precinct not a train station, correct?"

"Yes…"

"Then why are you sitting here?"

"I'm just waiting for Detective Beckett to get back. You don't happen to know where she is, do you?"

"She's making an arrest."

Castle smiled. "Oh good—she'll be back soon then."

Gates opened her mouth as though she was going to say something, but then shut it, shaking her head and walking away.

Ten minutes later, Castle heard familiar voices approaching from the elevator. He stood, pocketed his phone and grinned. "Hey guys!"

Kate, still in full cop mode as she led her suspect by the elbow, nodded in acknowledgement, but continued towards the interrogation room without stopping. Ryan and Esposito on the other hand walked directly to Castle. "Yo Castle. How was the tour?"

"Pretty good. Who's that?" he nodded towards interrogation.

"Just another lowlife murderer," Esposito said.

"Oh man, Castle—you should have seen her," Ryan continued, gesturing dramatically as he set the scene. "You would have loved it! Beckett kicked in the door and knocked the guy out by hitting him with his own shotgun!"

"That was pretty badass," the other detective agreed.

Castle felt ill. His stomach churned and he could feel the perspiration forming on his brow. And why was it suddenly so damned hot? "Shotgun?" he questioned weakly.

"Yeah it was great! Hey what's…what's wrong with you? You don't look so good man—maybe you should sit," Ryan suggested, pulling out Kate's desk chair.

Castle ignored it and looked between Ryan and Esposito for a few moments before revealing, "Kate's pregnant."

Both boys' jaws dropped. "She's what?!" Esposito asked.

Castle shut his eyes and took a long, deep breath. "We wanted…we decided to keep it to ourselves, and I'm sure she would have wanted to keep it secret a bit longer, but yes, she's pregnant."

"Hey Castle," Kate walked up behind the trio of men with a smile. "I was…" her voice drifted off when she saw their bleak expressions. "What?"

"You're pregnant?!" Esposito demanded.

Kate's eyes widened in horror as she turned on Castle. "You told them!? How could you! We had a deal!"

"No," he insisted sharply. "_We_ had a deal. Jesus Kate—you promised! You promised you wouldn't put yourself or our child in danger."

"I wasn't in danger; it was fine," she told him in a quiet, yet insistent tone.

"The hell you were—the guy had a shotgun!?"

Kate's nostrils flared as she exhaled quickly. She glanced between the shocked faces of Ryan and Esposito and then back at her boyfriend. "You shouldn't have told them," was all she could say.

"Well it's a good thing he did," Esposito chimed in. Kate's eyes turned to him. "When were you going to tell us? Your partners? Oh, and also—are you out of your damn mind?"

"Yeah, Beckett," Ryan chimed in. "There's no way we'd have let you through that door if we knew you were pregnant."

"Which is why I didn't tell you," she said pointedly. "I'm fine."

"No you're not." Esposito stepped in front of Castle so that he was directly in front of her, staring her down as he spoke. "And in case you didn't remember in the last five minutes – because obviously you did not – allow me to remind you: your mother was murdered."

Though she was already angry, it was at that point she reached seething. She could feel the heat building beneath every square inch of her skin. Her heart thudding against her ribcage. An unmistakable buzzing in her ears as her vision narrowed so that only her olive-skinned partner was visible. "That's way out of line, Javier," she spat at him.

"The hell it is," he replied, unfazed. "Not for someone who's known you as long as I have. Take yourself back, Kate. Back to that moment when you realized you'd never see your mother again. Now put yourself in those shoes. You're the mother now; is that really something you want for your child?"

Kate took a step back so that the other two men came in to view, both of whom wore stunned expressions. Her gaze danced between the three of them for a solid moment as she breathed heavily before, finally, she turned away entirely. "I don't have time for this," she said. "I have a suspect to interrogate." And with that, she stalked off.

"Wow," Ryan commented after a few moments of silence. "If that guy hadn't beaten someone to death with a metal pipe I'd almost feel bad for him. She's going to tear him apart." Castle grimaced and Ryan turned to his partner. "Damn Espo—I thought she might punch you for a second."

"Yeah well, she needed to hear it."

Esposito went to walk away, but Castle stopped him. "Thank you. I don't think I could have said that to her."

"And you shouldn't have," Esposito agreed. "She can be livid with me all she wants—she shouldn't have to be that mad at you. I'll be the bad guy on this one."

"Excuse me, Captain?" Kate rapped twice on Gate's office door to get her attention.

"Ah, Detective Beckett." Gates ushered the younger woman into the room. "Did you get a confession?"

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent work, Detective—per usual," Gates smiled at her.

Kate gave a muted smile in return. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. Especially since…well, I need to speak to you about an adjustment to my duties."

Gates' brow furrowed. "Oh? Is there a problem?"

Kate let out an airy chuckle. "Not a problem, no. I'm, ah, I'm pregnant."

Gates' eyebrows rose quickly and then she folded her arms over her chest and nodded. "Ah…well that certainly explains Mr. Castle's helicopter presence over you during the past month."

Kate nodded, clasping her hands in front of her. "Yes, sir. We…we didn't want to tell people this soon, but, ah, given the circumstances of my job-"

"Yes, yes of course. We can't have you getting into shooting matches with suspects, now can we?" Gates smiled at her. "If you don't mind me asking, how far along are you?"

"Thirteen weeks; the baby is due the first week of June," Kate explained. "I'd like to keep working as long as I can. I can still go to crime scenes and do interrogations and-"

"Detective," Gates said softly, holding up her hand to stop the bargaining. "Don't worry; I'm not going to bump you down to exclusively desk duty—unless that's something you want. I think with your case closure rate we can work something out."

A relieved smile crossed Kate's face. "Thank you, sir; I appreciate that." She turned to leave, but before she could, Gates stopped her.

"And Kate?" The older woman smiled. "Congratulations."

Shortly after five that evening, Castle sat in his office mentally reviewing the events at the precinct. He remained incredibly angry at Kate for her cavalier attitude towards her pregnancy, yet concerned because he knew Esposito's comment, while valid, had definitely struck a very tender nerve.

He was so deep in thought, that he didn't hear her come in until she was standing directly in front of the desk. "Hey—hey!" he said, sitting up quickly and walking over to her. "Are you okay? Is Esposito still alive?"

She chuckled softly. "Yes, he is. I'm pissed at him, but I can't actually say that he was wrong in what he said, so he'll live another day."

"Glad to hear it."

Kate stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Castle's neck. "I'm so sorry, Rick; you were right. You were absolutely right. I was just being really stubborn."

"Well that's not new," he said gently into her ear before kissing the side of her neck.

She sighed and pulled out of their embrace. "I just…I didn't want this pregnancy to change me."

"But it will," he told her. "Parenthood does change you. It opens up a whole new beautiful, wonderful, terrifying world. You can still be you, Kate, just a newer you. A slightly more cautious you. In fact, if you could wear a bullet proof vest at your desk just to be safe that would be great!"

Kate laughed and shook her head. "You know, I don't think I've really said this before, but I'm so glad you've done this whole parent thing before, because, honestly, I'm really kind of freaking out about it."

He leaned in and kissed her forehand. "Don't freak out."

She smiled gently before walking over and taking a seat on the sofa. "I told Gates. We're going to work out a plan to keep me on restricted duty."

Castle sat beside her and picked up one of her hands. "Thank you, Kate," he said genuinely. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you or our little girl-guy."

"Well," she said, lowering her hands to her stomach, "I don't want anything to happen to him-her either."

"Hey speaking of—you know we can probably find out at your next appointment if it's a girl or a boy. Do you want to know?" he asked her.

"Did you find out with Alexis?" she asked. He shook his head. "I kind of want to be surprised."

"Then surprised we will be!" he proclaimed before kissing her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Eleven**

Almost before Kate had even realized, the Christmas season was upon them. She had been so preoccupied with her pregnancy and reading as many pregnancy books, articles and blogs as she could get her hands on, she had almost forgot to do her shopping. Thank goodness for .

Castle insisted that since not only was it their first Christmas together, but they were expecting a child the following year, it was imperative that Kate be fully entrenched in all the Castle family holiday traditions. While Kate appreciated his sentiments, she expressed her uncertainty since in her thirty-two years of life she had yet to spend a Christmas apart from her father. In the end, they compromised in saying they would spend Christmas Eve and morning with the Castles and then go to her father's for a meal on Christmas night.

If Kate had any preconceived notions about what Castle's holiday traditions would be, they all flew out the window by four p.m. on December twenty-fourth. There were costumes, elf figurines, and copious amounts of sweets—and that was just the beginning. At first, she was mildly horrified, but then, once she embraced the child-like amusement of it all, she found herself having a great deal of fun. That was until Castle suggested that she be the one to dress up as Santa Clause because she wouldn't need to wear a pillow for padding.

Still in the early stages of her second trimester, anyone who did not know her well probably would have been unaware that she was pregnant and while she knew he was teasing, she remained annoyed until he presented her with her Christmas gift: an exquisite pair of diamond earrings. She gave him a tearful hug (damn hormones) and instantly forgot she was angry with him.

Despite a few strange traditions and a ridiculously over the top round-robin Christmas carol sing-off event she could have done without, Kate thoroughly enjoyed her Christmas with the Castles. She was even more pleased that their dinner with her father had also gone well and was a much lower-key event. Then again, since Castle had given her father an incredibly rare baseball gift as a Christmas present, the entire house could have gone up in flames and he probably wouldn't have noticed.

During her first doctor appointment in the New Year, Kate and Castle were given the opportunity to find out the baby's gender, which, per their earlier discussion, they declined. Also, after this appointment, they began to tell people about their upcoming bundle of joy. Hiding her baby bump was becoming increasingly more difficult, plus she just knew it was time. For the most part, all of her friends were surprised by her announcement, but happy for her.

Castle, on the other hand, took their announcement to a bit broader stage than Kate would have preferred. He posted a blog entry on his website announcing that he and his NYPD detective girlfriend were expecting their first child in the beginning of summer. Naturally, just minutes after the entry was posted, the congratulatory notes began pouring in and did not stop for several weeks later.

As winter began to fade away, Kate found herself more and more intrigued by the concept of everything baby. Strollers, cribs, onsies—there was so much to consider! It seemed that almost every time she was out shopping, she found herself stopping in front of some baby related item, wondering if she needed it, stroking her belly as she did so. The more she looked, the more she began to realize how much more convenient it would be for them both if they knew the gender of their baby. They would not be trapped into the neutral hues of yellow and green or live in terror of receiving a pink-shaded gift just in case their baby was a boy.

Of all her friends who had children, she was the only one who had decided to wait to find out. The more she spoke with them, the more she realized she wanted to find out so, one Friday afternoon while taking a paperwork break at her desk, she phoned the doctor's office and requested to know the gender of her baby. She had to wait for her doctor to call her back but, when she did, she happily accepted the news.

Deciding to have a little fun with Castle, she stopped at her apartment on the way home from work and grabbed a plain greeting card from her stash. Inside, she wrote down the gender of their baby and sealed up the envelope. Just because she knew the baby's gender did not mean she would spoil it for him if he wanted to remain surprised, but if he did want to know, she figured the sealed envelope would appeal to his flair for drama.

Kate entered the loft that evening so excited she was practically skipping. She went directly to Castle's office, where she found him finishing a phone call. After waiting patiently outside the room for him to finish, she walked inside, still beaming.

"Well hello there. Aren't you happy this evening? Get a good confession this afternoon?" he asked.

"No, no. Something much better. I, ah, I had a moment of weakness and I decided I couldn't wait," she explained. He eyed her curiously. "I called the doctor and found out if our baby is a boy or a girl."

His brow furrowed and he stood, walking around to her side of the desk. "You did? But I thought you wanted to wait?"

She groaned. "I did. I really did, but then I was thinking about shopping and clothes and stuff and…well, it would just be so much easier if we knew."

He nodded. "Well I can't really argue with that point."

"But, I want you to know that I totally respect your decision to wait and be surprised so I won't tell you unless you're sure you want to know."

Castle laughed as though she was a stand-up comedian. "Kate, please. Like I'm going to be able to stand not knowing when you do know."

She smiled. "I thought you might say that."

His eyes widened as he stared at her for several moments before saying, "So?!" She proudly pulled out the sealed envelope and handed it to him. His eyes dipped towards the envelope and then back to her. "What's that?"

"Open it."

Castle snatched the envelope from her and tore open the flap so violently that the envelope practically shredded in his hand. He pulled out the tulip-covered card and flipped it open to reveal her writing. _It's a __BOY__!_

For almost a solid minute, he merely stared down at the card. Then, slowly, he lifted his gaze to see her anxious expression. "A boy," he began, his voice filled with gravel. "A son; you're giving me a son. We're going to have a son!"

"Yeah. That's great right? A little Castle junior." She added with a little laugh. She watched as his eyes turned back to the card and he traced the words with his thumb, staring down at them as though he could hardly believe they were real. When he looked back to her, she could see his eyes glazing over and his lips trembling as he pressed them together. She felt her chest constrict.

"Oh, Rick," she sighed, bringing her hands up to cup his face. "Aren't you happy? You wanted a boy, right?"

He nodded and pulled her in close, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She pressed a few kisses against his cheek and could taste the saltiness of one of his tears. "I'm so happy, Kate," he said finally. "So, so happy. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she echoed before giving him a sweet kiss.

A moment later, the embracing duo were interrupted by Alexis walking in the office. "Hey dad can I—oh, sorry, I…is everything okay?" she asked upon sight of her tearful father. "With the baby? Is something wrong with the baby?"

Kate turned and shook her head as she cradled her bump. "No the baby's fine. It's just…do you want to tell her?" she asked her companion.

Castle sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "Yes—you're going to have a brother, Alexis."

The girl's face lit up. "A boy? It's a boy?"

"It's a boy," Kate confirmed.

Alexis grinned and rushed forward and pulled them both into a hug. "Oh that's so exciting!" Turning to Kate she asked, "When you go shopping, can I come? I want to buy him clothes."

"Absolutely," Kate agreed. "I'd love that."

"Thanks! Oh, Dad, can I go to Tina's? She got her dress for the spring dance and wants to show me."

"Sure, sweetie; call if you're not going to be back by eleven."

"Please—like you'll still be awake by then, Old Man," she said with a wink before walking out the door.

Kate looked up at Castle, fighting to hide a smirk. He sighed. "She never misses an opportunity to point that out, does she?"

"Don't worry," Kate said, standing on her toes and kissing his cheek. "The baby will make you feel young again."

The following day, Kate met her father for lunch. They had already prearranged the date, but she was glad for the timing, because it enabled her to tell him about his future grandson. Naturally, he was thrilled at the prospect and asked his daughter if that meant she would be painting the baby's nursery blue.

"Well, actually, we haven't even talked about setting up the nursery yet," she told him with a laugh.

"Would that be because you have a one bedroom apartment and have yet to agree to move into Rick's place?" Jim asked casually.

Kate's expression turned warning. "Dad…"

"What? My question was reasonable. It's not like I asked why you're not marrying him," he said pointedly.

"It's complicated."

"I'm not saying it's not, but do you really expect to live apart and raise a child together? You're more sensible than that, Katie."

Kate said nothing as she skimmed her fingers across the condensation droplets on her water glass.

"There are no guarantees, Katie," Jim said. Tentatively, she looked up at him. "If that's what you're waiting for, you'll be waiting a long time, because in life there aren't any. I can't sit here and tell you that you and Castle will have a perfect marriage just like I can't sit here and tell you that you shouldn't marry him because it will end terribly. No one can make those promises, but you'll never know how it turns out unless you try."

Feeling the tears begin to form in her eyes, she fought them back. "But what if it doesn't work out?"

"Then it doesn't work out. But Katie, what if you don't get married and two years from now it doesn't work out? You'll still be forever tied through your son. What are you really achieving by not marry him?"

Jim let the question hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "It's your life, Katie, and I know far better than to tell you how to live it. I want you to be happy and whatever you decide I'll be happy for you. I just want you to make the right choices for the right reasons."

For the remainder of the day, her father's words hung in her mind. What was she really achieving by not marrying Castle? Her father had been right. Married or not, from that point forward they would be forever linked through their child. Did she really think that somehow by not marrying him that would guarantee success? Or, conversely, by marrying him, would that guarantee failure?

Initially, she feared Castle's proposal was out of obligation; a sense of duty. Since then, he had not broached the subject again, but she knew he was only doing that because she responded so negatively to his query. She could tell he grew anxious when baby plans were brought up by his mother or daughter, but she knew it was not due to him, but his fear of her reaction. Her pregnancy was getting a little too far along to not discuss things like the baby's room and their living arrangements and prolonging the discussion would not make things better. True, she was still scared, but sometimes in life the scariest things end up being the most worthwhile.

"Hey Kate—Earth to Kate," Castle said as he sat down beside her on the couch that evening. "You okay? You look a million miles away."

She smiled at him and slid her feet into his lap. "Actually, I was thinking about the baby's nursery."

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "The nursery?"

"Yeah," she said, running her fingers back and forth over her belly. "I think we should paint it blue and yellow – I always liked how those colors looked together. And you know how everyone says you have to have a theme? Well, what if we went with a storybook theme? Because I think that would really fit. What do you think?"

He beamed at her. "I think that all sounds great. I'll start cleaning out the spare bedroom tomorrow. That is what you meant by the nursery, right? You meant here?" he questioned as his brow wrinkled slightly.

She nodded and slid closer to him. "Yes, here. And, also, I…I think we should get married." Her heart rate sped as she said the words, but they were out there; she couldn't take them back. She didn't want to, either.

Castle leaned back, his face painted with surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, I was thinking about it… Actually, my dad got me thinking about it when we had lunch today. I know my reasons for not wanting to before were kind of irrational. I was afraid you were just doing it out of obligation because I was pregnant and you thought you should marry me and I didn't want that. But I know that you love me and I love you and I want to be with you. Every day. Forever." She laughed lightly and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. When she looked at him, she saw the grin on his face had grown even wider, if that was possible. "I mean…assuming you still want to marry me?"

He laughed. "If I want to marry you? If _I_ want to marry you? Come with me." He stood and grabbed her hand. She followed him into the bedroom where he sat her on the edge of their bed. Then, he went to his sock drawer, rummaged around for a moment, and returned with a navy blue square box.

Kate's heart fluttered in her chest and a few more tears fell when he knelt in front of her. "Kate, I fell in love with you the first week we met when you helped me, saved my life without really knowing me. Since then, I've fallen more in love with you each day and I know that will continue every day for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

With his eyes sparking brighter than any diamond ever could have, Castle flipped open the ring box to reveal the lovely—and huge—single stone ring inside. She extended her left hand and he slid the ring onto it. "Do you like it?"

"I—Yes its beautiful." She brought her hand closer to her face to examine it; it sparkled even in the dull lighting of the room. "I mean its huge, but beautiful."

Castle stood from the floor, leaned in and gave her a long kiss. "I love you."

"I love you," she echoed.

Still kissing, they settled back on the bed together. Castle's hands roamed beneath her shirt, skimming his hands down her back, over her belly and across her breasts. She rolled herself on top of him and began unbuttoning his shirt. When the buttons were all undone, she sat back on her heels over his hips as she had always done, but suddenly felt unbalanced.

"What is it?" he asked when he saw an expression of concern cross her face.

"I think I'm getting too pregnant to be on top," she confessed.

He laughed. "Well that's okay. I can-"

"Oh no," she laughed louder, putting her hand across her belly where a distinct thumping could be felt. "We woke him up."

She scooted herself on the bed beside him, stretched out on her side and pulled up her shirt, exposing her round belly. They joined their hands together just to the left of her belly button, where the kicking could be felt. "I never get tired of that," Castle confessed.

"Me neither…unless it's on my bladder."

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Castle began to trace his fingers in lazy circles. "You know we never really talked about names. Now that we know it's a boy and we're talking about his nursery, we should probably figure it out."

Kate nodded. Alexis had given her a baby name book for Christmas and she had perused it several times. Nothing had jumped out at her as a must-have name, though; most of them just seemed awful. "Do you want to name him Richard?"

Castle scrunched his nose. "No, I'm not a huge fan of juniors."

"Then what? Did you have something in mind?"

He propped his head up on his fist. "I don't know. I've had so many different characters in my novels – both published and not—almost every name reminds me of one of them. Do you…did you maybe want to name him after your dad?"

Kate thought for a moment; that idea had never crossed her mind before. "James… Dad would like that. Maybe—we can keep it as an option."

"James Castle. Sounds good to me," he smiled and then added, "Just like Kate Castle."

She grinned and leaned over to kiss him; that name sounded good to her too.

* * *

_A/N: The next chapter will be the last one, but don't worry guys - I'll have a new story to post after this one. I don't want you to suffer too much during show hiatus :)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Twelve**

Just the day after announcing their engagement to their friends and family, Kate surprised Castle with another confession. Not only did she want to get married before their baby was born, but she didn't want to wait at all; she wanted to elope.

At first, Castle protested, fearing she would ultimately regret not having a large wedding or anything that resembled a wedding at all, but she said she didn't mind. She had never been one to dream of a huge wedding with hundreds of people in attendance. All she wanted was something intimate, celebrating their love with one another.

Castle countered her suggestion with an idea he hoped she would go for. He proposed the idea of marrying at his house in the Hamptons during the first weekend in April—exactly one year from the date of their first meeting. After thinking it through, Kate decided she loved the idea, and it gave them six weeks to plan a modest affair with fifty of their closest friends and family.

Somewhat untraditionally, Castle suggested that they go on a honeymoon trip before their actual wedding. His reasoning stemmed mainly from that as her due date grew ever closer, Kate would be increasingly more uncomfortable with travel, especially with spending long periods of time on an airplane. She conceded to this point, and the two of them planned a Caribbean escape two weeks before the wedding.

During their trip, Castle continually apologized to Kate, saying he wished he could have taken her on a whirlwind tour of Europe or to see the Great Wall of China for their honeymoon, but Kate refused his apologies. She was perfectly happy spending a blissful week in the sun and sand with him, taking long walks together and making love. They could save the grand vacations for later on, when they could bring their child along and he could enjoy it too.

Kate had never in her life been so grateful for family as she was when she and Castle returned from their trip a week before their wedding. She had only agreed to go because Castle's mother and daughter had promised to keep all wedding plans on track while they were away. True, with a small affair, the details were as minimal as they could be, but a few things did still manage to go wrong. Martha and Alexis were up to the task though and, ultimately, created as beautiful of a beach-side wedding as she could have imagined.

Castle and Kate spent their first night as a married couple in the master suite of his Hamptons estate, laughing and reminiscing about one year prior when he'd blinded her with a magic trick and zip-tied her to a chair. She told him how she knew right from the start there would be something special about them because of their ease around each other, particularly given such bizarre circumstances. He told her that had he not been blinded by his concern for his life (not to mention his desire not to spend the rest of his life in prison), he would have actually kidnapped her and taken her with him so that she would have never had to leave his side again. This caused her to laugh before pulling him in for a kiss.

The weeks after their wedding passed like a beautiful blur and before either of them realized, they were one month from their baby's due date. According to the doctor, everything was going as well as it could have. The baby was healthy and projected to be a sturdy eight pounds at birth.

By that point, with her belly clearly noticeable, Kate had, much to her chagrin, been reduced to mostly desk duty at the NYPD. She still consulted on each of Ryan and Esposito's cases, reviewing the facts and insisting on full recaps for any field interviews that they did, but she was unable to interview suspects and interrogate as she once had. She was, of course, more than willing to do so, but had to submit to the fact that a pregnant interrogator did not necessarily convey the brutality that was needed in order to get a confession.

It was also around this time that she and Castle began discussing plans for after the baby's birth. The week after their wedding she had officially moved into the loft and sublet her apartment. The nursery was done, the crib built, and the closet stacked with diapers. Thanks to several all-nighters, Nikki Heat's inaugural story had also been completed, so both Kate and Castle were prepared to be full time parents for the first several weeks after their son's birth.

During their discussions, Castle told Kate that she could stay home with their child as long as she wanted. Her income was financially unnecessary for their family, which gave her the freedom to do whatever she saw best. Kate decided that she would stay home with their son for twelve weeks and then reevaluate the situation. She knew she would have to return to the NYPD for her own sense of fulfillment, but recognized that their son's needs now came before her own desires and she was not a fan of daycare or full time nannies, at least not during the first three months of life.

As he had been doing, Castle arrived at the Twelfth around quarter of twelve that early May day so that he and Kate could eat lunch together. He, of course, enjoyed spending all the time he could with his wife, but he also enjoyed teasing her for the high volume of food she was consuming in her final weeks of pregnancy. Kate didn't even mind that he did this; some days she even disturbed herself with how much she could put away.

"Hello beautiful wife," he greeted her, swooping down to kiss her on the cheek.

She spun around in her chair and stared at him. "You're never going to believe what just happened."

"Ohh," Castle whined. "Did I miss a good case?"

"No. Not yet, anyway. Gates just told me that the FBI will be coming here to speak with us. They would like our assistance on a case. Specifically, my assistance; they want me to consult."

Castle considered this for a moment. "Does that mean-"

"Oh yes," she said. "Agent Banner—my favorite person. Is it too late to take a sick day?"

"Uh," Castle said, turning towards the elevator where several men in dark suits could be seen approaching. "I'd say so."

Banner and a grim faced college entered the bull pen and stood for a moment, observing their less-than-federal-level surroundings. Banner's eyes skimmed the room until they landed on Kate, who remained seated at her desk. For the moment, he took no notice to the man standing behind her.

"Agent—er—Detective Beckett, nice to see you again." He said, though his tone made his words sound like an obligation more than a pleasantry. He glanced up at her companion and did a double take. "Mr.-Mr. Castle?!"

Castle nodded. "Agent Banner."

"What the goddamn hell are you doing here?"

"He consults with the NYPD," Kate told him proudly. "He's helped out on many of our cases."

Banner's expression could not have been more incredulous if Kate had told him Castle was an expert witness in an alien abduction case. Blinking and shaking his head, Banner turned back to Kate. "Yes, well, we should really get a move on."

"Where would we be going, exactly?" Kate asked.

"The joint taskforce is going to be meeting uptown."

"Well, I'm sorry if you were misinformed, sir, but I'm actually not on field duty right now. If you have case files, I'd be happy to look at them, or provide you with any information I have on your suspect, but I cannot go to a taskforce meeting."

Banner huffed into his mustache and folded his arms. "Why the hell not?"

"Because," Kate said, pressing one of her hands flat on her desk as she stood, belly first. "I'm pregnant."

Banner's eyes dropped to Kate's expanded middle, which had been concealed while she was seated by the desk and her dark colored shirt. When she was standing, however, there was no mistaking it. "O-oh…I see. Well, you know I'm sure it would be fine. It's just a meeting and possibly a field interview and-"

"Hey," Castle said, stepping forward so that his body was between Kate's and Banner's. "She said no field duty; she's not going."

Banner blinked at him, almost stunned to silence by the way this civilian (and former fugitive!) was trying to tell him how to do his job. "And why the goddamn hell do you care what she does?"

"Well, she's my wife and carrying my child—I'm kind of funny that way." Castle retorted and, for emphasis, placed his ring-bearing left hand on Kate's shoulder.

For a solid moment Banner's eyes darted between Castle and Kate, his expression appearing as though he'd accidentally ingested several insects. Kate could almost see his mind spinning back to one year prior, rethinking the entire Castle fugitive situation with the knowledge of their nuptials. It was all she could do not to laugh.

Ultimately, Banner turned from them, muttering something incoherent as he stomped off towards Gates' office. One he was out of earshot, Kate turned to her husband to see that he was just as amused as she felt. "That was great—we should have taped his reaction."

"His face was classic."

"You really put him in his place Castle," she said proudly.

"Well he hunted me down and tried to arrest me; he had it coming."

Kate nodded. "Well I'm certainly not complaining. I don't miss that partnership at all."

Castle placed a hand on each of her shoulders and pulled her as close to him as her belly would allow. "Yeah? You think you have a better one now?"

"Eh, sometimes." She shrugged. Then, when his jaw dropped, a grin broke across her face. She stood on her toes and kissed him. "Kidding. You're the best partner I could ever want."

**Six months later**

"Rick?" Kate called out when she stepped into the loft apartment that evening. She toed off her heels and winced as her aching feet came in contact with the cool floor. She really was getting to old to run in stilettos, wasn't she?

"In here!" she heard his voice coming from the office.

Kate walked into the room to find Castle on the floor on his stomach, laptop a few feet from him. Beside him, also on his stomach, lie a little boy, the spitting imagine of his father, grinning and slapping the ground with his hands. Kate's face instantaneously melted into a grin at the sight of her son.

"Well hello!" she said in a sweet tone. The baby looked up to her and cooed. She knelt down and scooped him up, pressing a kiss onto his still-bald head. "Did you miss Mommy today? Because Mommy missed you."

"He did miss you," Castle said as he pushed himself up to a seated position. "But he also wrote his first death by trash compactor scene."

"Ohh," Kate said, trying to keep her voice light despite her horror. "Is your daddy trying to give you nightmares, JR?"

"Please," Castle waved his hand dismissively. "He's a Castle; this is in his DNA."

Kate gazed down at the innocent little boy in her arms. James Rodgers—JR for short—certainly was a Castle by DNA—a thought that terrorized her for his upcoming mischievous youthful years. But, honestly, she wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Speaking of," Castle continued. "Any interesting murders today?"

"No, sorry," Kate said, moving the baby to her hip. "Just the regular kind."

"Darn. Well, hopefully next time Alexis is available to baby-sit there will be something really, really gruesome."

"Like murder by trash compactor?" she offered with a laugh.

He shook his head. "No, much better than that." Then, after a moment, he added, "but I guess I don't mind. I'll take a regular every-day jealous rage murder if it means spending the day with you."

Smiling, Kate leaned over and kissed her husband. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

_A/N_: _Thank you guys so much for reading! And for all your reviews; I really appreciate those. I hope you all enjoyed this story!_

_The next story I post will be called __**No Place I'd Rather Be**__ and I will post it on Saturday. Summary: "When Richard Castle learns his publisher hired a writing consultant to help him complete his latest novel he's insulted-until he meets her. Dr. Kate Beckett was merely looking for a summer job between semesters, but could three weeks with the famous writer might be more than she bargained for."_


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